Dead by Dawn
by Citizen Kane
Summary: My own version of DAG. Sookie's first person account of her life. The story begins after the real Dead and Gone Chapter 1 available on the authors website. Spoilers for every Sookie Stackhouse Novel including Gift Wrap. Rated M after chapter 1.
1. Chapter 1

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampires series or any of the characters featured. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

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The drive home from work felt like an eternity, until I pulled up in my gravel drive and realized I hadn't really looked at the road ahead of me once.

I could only hope that Sam was okay driving to get to his wounded mother. What would the revelation mean for Jason? Or for all of the supes? Supe is short for supernatural beings but, of course, the werewolves go by Weres, capital W. Capital pains in the butt, more like it. From my experience they've had a knack for getting me mixed up in their politics, of which I want no part. Will humans roll out the red carpet for them as they had for vampires? I highly doubt that, something a little less glamorous about the smell of wet dog. With vamps like Eric and Bill around it was easy to understand why humans embraced the Great Revelation over these last few years, creating a new generation of enthusiastic fangbangers. It's hard to understand how willingly people ignore the fact that these beautiful creatures admiring your neckline could take you out before you can say uncle. I probably didn't consider that reality as often as I should despite my close calls in the past. As I pulled up to the back of my old farmhouse, the security lights came on in time for me to notice something white flash in the woods behind my shed, but before I could think about it too much longer Amelia came flying off my freshly swept front porch dressed like a woman fleeing a burning building at midnight. Her hair was disheveled and she was half-dressed in fuzzy slippers and a partly buttoned garage shirt that had "Dawson" stitched on the pocket. Come to think of it, her mind wasn't any more composed than her oufit.

"Sookie," Amelia called out.

"What's up Amelia?" I said. I had truly been hoping I could call it a night.

"Sookie, you need to head over to Calvin's right away," Amelia said. "I've been trying to reach you, where is your cell phone?"

Good question, where was that darn thing? It's not like me to be this forgetful. I've never been one to get the latest and greatest, but I had to admit I did like the shiny red phone Eric had given me as a replacement gift. And the six months of service he'd paid for wasn't bad either. It's so Eric to get the top of line but there are better uses for money in my little world. Like taxes and groceries. And it was looking like my yard had a few bald spots that would probably need sodding come spring. I was giving myself a small headache thinking about money.

"I must have left it in the desk back at Merlotte's," I said offhand, hoping that was the truth more than knowing it to be so.

She had that look of pity, anger, and sadness in her eyes I last saw when Bob made bedmates with a promiscuous tabby in my woods. Before I could open my mouth to get the rest out of her, she answered everything loud and clear. Funny thing about a telepath having such a clear broadcaster for a roomie because there are just some things you don't want to know. Like that time she came home after she and Tray tried out one of her more adventurous bedroom experiments. It took everything I had not to laugh out loud when she got home that night. But tonight I would not be laughing. Crystal went into labor. Calvin called the house while I was on my way home from work. Crystal is only seven and a half months along and apparently she began bleeding earlier tonight. I decided not to ask any questions. I gripped my keys tightly and headed back towards the car.

"I'm coming with you!" I heard Amelia call from behind me.

On the ride there, Amelia called Tray from her new cell phone and filled him in on what was happening and where we were headed. Since he'd dropped her off at home from Merlotte's, he'd gone back to his shop to tinker with a customer's motorcycle that was supposed to be picked up tomorrow, so she told him not bother meeting us out in Hotshot. It was sweet of him to have offered and I hoped they would last as a couple. He made her happy, and, well, that made me happy. At least one of us had someone special in her life, although I can't say I was totally alone. I had Eric, but as Sheriff of Area 3 he was pretty busy restructuring since the takeover. Pam told me in one of her "Dear Abby" update calls that Felipe has consolidated the state into three areas instead of five so Eric got more territory and a new title. I'm still not sure if I should be happy or concerned about this news, but time would tell. Sam has always been there for me but had other fish to fry at the moment. And then there was Bill. Okay, I must be feeling pretty low tonight to try to dig up those memories, but I couldn't deny he loved me even if he was a cad. His stealth campaign had touched my heart a little, I guess. I told myself to snap out of it and prepare myself for what I was headed in to. As much as I didn't like the way Crystal acted, she was still kind of family, and I couldn't help but be worried for her. We pulled up in front of Calvin's neat yard, but had to park in the street because there were two trucks in the drive. I recognized the first one as Calvin's and as we got out of our car and rounded the driveway I saw aqua swirls.

"Jason's here," I said to Amelia.

"Well, he should be. This is his problem, not yours," she said in an irritated voice. I guess my anger towards Jason these last few months had rubbed off on Amelia. I was sorry for that in a way. I don't know where my brother lost his own way, but somewhere in his selfishness, he lost me as well. Amelia and I took a deep breath almost simultaneously as I knocked on the door.

"It's open," a woman's voice called out.

We walked in, surprised to find a full house. Mary-Elizabeth was in the kitchen with Crystal's sister, who had a baby on her hip. They were standing still as stones. Jason was sitting on the tan faux suede sofa next to Mel. His elbows were resting on his knees and his face was buried in his hands. Mel leaned towards him with his arm around Jason's shoulders saying something quietly in his ear. No one looked up. In fact, I felt like no one even realized we'd walked in or even registered our presence, though now both Amelia and I were standing on the small leopard print area rug in the center of the tidy living room that smelled like fresh paint.

I heard a low moan and a door close, and suddenly Calvin appeared from the darkness of the hallway. His green eyes glowed golden in the most unusual way but his face was drawn and sallow.

"The baby didn't make it." he said soberly.

"Oh, no," I said. My heart sank, not realizing until that very moment how much I'd been looking forward to being an aunt.

"How's Crystal doing?" I asked cautiously, taking in the severity of the situation.

"She's not good. It was way too early to be going into labor. We couldn't take her to the hospital because it's a full moon tonight and we just can't risk it. Maryelizabeth and I have done home deliveries before in the past, when need be, but…" he paused for a long moment, then started again. "I called you because I was hoping you could call your friend who helped us last time, Dr. Tonnesen."

My mind was tumbling with all the tragic turns this night had taken.

"I can call her now but I'm not sure if she'll answer. Do you have a phone book here?" I tried to collect my thoughts and remember what the doctor was listed under as the waves of sadness in the room rolled through me and joined my own.

Calvin turned his head towards the kitchen and nodded to Maryelizabeth but before he could speak, a voice broke the silence.

"It was a girl" Jason said.

I took a hard gulp and my eyes burned a little. I would have loved a niece with tiny hands to hold who would come over and play in my fingernail polish and mess up the kitchen with dyeing eggs for Easter. Maybe she would have wanted a puppy for Christmas one year? Gran would have loved that…

"You probably wanted this to happen," Jason said, looking up from his hands, still seated on the sofa. I now noticed the fringe of his rumpled flannel shirt had smears of reddish brown and his face looked ten years older than the man I'd seen a few hours earlier.

Calvin and I looked at each other not certain who he was talking to or where this was headed.

"You never liked Crystal and you don't like that I'm a werepanther. You didn't think my baby would be good enough," he said quietly.

He was talking to me, all right. My mouth fell open and Mel was looking pretty taken aback himself. I felt Calvin grip my elbow and I could hear Amelia, who'd been quietly standing beside me, thinking of several ways to turn Jason into something entirely other than a panther—and a lot less pleasant.

"You listen here, Jason. You've been through a lot tonight, and I think you need to cool your jets. I am sorry this happened, more sorry than you know and no matter how I feel about you or Crystal I would not have wished this on anyone," I said sternly. I was beyond furious. I felt like I was talking to an alien or a total stranger. It was like he didn't know me at all anymore. I could not believe this was my own brother sitting here on this couch saying these things. How could he for one second think I would be happy about this?

"You let her drink at Merlotte's," he said slowly, looking me square in the eye now. "I saw you bring her a drink. That's why Maryelizabeth said she lost the baby you know that? If you gave two shits about this baby you would have told her no," he said, speaking so venomously I felt a chill in the room. I was stunned and I fought back the stinging tears ready to flood my eyes. I could see in his mind very clearly at the moment. His mind was a thick fog of anger and hurt that bordered on fury and he wanted to blame someone. Crystal was in pain in the back bedroom so he was taking it out on me. He wanted to have this showdown now. I could feel the gaze of the women in the kitchen piercing the side of my head like hot lasers. They were looking for a scapegoat tonight, too, I guess. One time they'd been in together and she ordered a drink. I had no right to tell a grown woman how to live. It wasn't my business and Jason was having a beer right along with her. Niall was right to not want to know Jason. I hated to say it, but it was the truth.

"That's enough!" said Amelia who'd been seething in contempt silently by my side. Normally, I don't let anyone speaking on my behalf but I had a frog in my throat that would only give way to a scream if I dared to open my mouth.

"Calvin, we'll call the doctor from Sookie's house and ask her to come straight here. You'll have to sort out her pay on your own. I don't think there's any good in our being here so we're leaving now. Sorry about your loss." She said sincerely as she laid her hands on my shoulders and steered me out the front door. Calvin coolly nodded towards us in acknowledgement and then set a hard gaze on Jason who, at that moment, couldn't care less who he'd pissed off.

As I got to the threshold of the door, something stopped me dead in my tracks. Something sprang from inside me. I turned my head back to face Jason.

"Jason, you're not worth it. You don't exist to me anymore," I said simply in a level voice I didn't recognize. I don't know where it came from, but in the pit of my stomach I knew I meant it.

He whipped his head up and gave me an icy glare that could freeze a lit match.

He raised one brow and said in an equally cool tone, "Done."

I felt like Lot leaving Sodom for the last time. I walked out the door and didn't look back.

"That is just not right, Sookie. Don't let him do that to you. He has made every bad choice a man could make, even when you've tried to help him," Amelia said as she started my car. I was seated in the passenger seat trying hard not to cry or yell, which seemed like my only options at that moment. After vacillating (my word of the day, sounds funny, huh?) between these options I decided on silence.

"Amelia, if you don't mind, I'm gonna pretend to sleep in my seat here," I said exhaustedly as I leaned my head up against the cold glass of my car window. I was used to being mad at Jason, but I wasn't used to his being mad back. It shouldn't have bothered me because I'd pretty much abjured him, but it did.

"Okay, Sookie. Good idea." I could tell she just was happy that I'd decided against having an emotional outburst. She'd had a big night herself and had many things on her mind, like her father and her property in New Orleans, but mostly worry for Tray. He took a big step tonight revealing himself as a Were with FOTS members in the crowd. I must have actually fallen asleep on the short ride because I was awakened by the crunching sound of gravel in my driveway as we pulled up to my home.

"I'll call the doctor for Calvin, Sookie. Just go get some sleep." Amelia said as we parked. She was a good friend.

We both trudged up the porch stairs and when we'd gotten inside and locked up, we said our good nights without another word about today's events and I headed up to my room. I was on autopilot again as I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I pulled my ponytail loose running my fingers through the tangles then changed into my comfiest pajamas—the new blue velour set I'd bought on sale last week at the SuperTarget in Monroe. I turned the lights out and crawled into my old, high bed. Lying in the darkness, I set my mind free to chase my dreams to sleep. And I was almost there remembering that cute paramedic I'd met in Dallas, which seemed like a lifetime ago, when a second wind of energy pulsed through me. Lying on my back, I opened my eyes and stared straight up at the ceiling for a few seconds. Just then a big smile I couldn't fight, though I tried, spread in earnest across my face.

It was Eric.


	2. Chapter 2

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampire Series or any of the characters featured below. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

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Damned blood bond.

I propped myself up on my elbows and spun my head around the room from side to side, my hair slithering on my shoulders, only to find I was alone. I half expected a tap at the window or a full-blown grand entrance—but nothing. I laid my head back down on the pillow after a minute and curled up looking at the empty chair in the corner now strewn with my ragged afghan that no one likes. I only know that no one likes it because they make a point to tell me so. Manners are dead. Amelia must have gotten tired of looking at it every day on the couch and put it there. Looks like I'll have to have our weekly talk about not coming in my room anymore.

After a few minutes I began to wonder if I had imagined the sensation that roused me from my drowsy state. I was in the middle of a little fantasy, so I can't be too surprised if my mind wandered to Eric. After all, he was the king of that sort of thing; it's just too bad he knew it. To call him confident would be the understatement of the century, and if I said that to his face, he'd probably give me a smug smile and proceed to correct me, listing the history of understatements much greater than that. The thought made me snort with amusement. You'd think you'd forget some things after 1,000 years of life but he has a mind like a steel trap and misses nothing. That's why I bothered him so much. It really irked him that he didn't know what happened between us and that I was on his mind so often. I guess it took the weight off his shoulders to finally remember what those few mysterious days entailed because I sure don't seem to be on his mind that much anymore. I bet he's real relieved.

I peeked over at my old alarm clock to see it was almost 4:00 a.m., and I had a big day ahead of me tomorrow. I had lots of errands to run and restocking to do before opening up the bar for the lunch crowd, and I had to do a good job for Sam. I know Merlotte's like the back of my hand, but I had to make sure we didn't run it into the ground while Sam was away. Did I tell Terry to open up the bar for lunch, or was I supposed to do that? Confusion must be a symptom of sleepiness. I closed my eyes and let myself quietly wander back to that handsome paramedic in my dreams.

I woke up feeling better but a little groggy. I sat up and yawned a big yawn, the kind where you fully extend your arms for a big stretch just to shake that last bit of sleep off. I didn't hear any noise downstairs, so Amelia must still be in bed or gone for the day. I grabbed some fitted black slacks, some under things, and my long sleeved white boat-neck "Merlotte's" shirt and headed for the bathroom to start my daily ritual. Once I was fully dressed and standing in front of the bathroom mirror I played with my hair for a while considering if I should trim some bangs like Amelia suggested. I put in some crystal stud earrings shaped like a flower and gave my hair one last brush. _Good enough_, I thought to myself.

I was sitting in my kitchen having a cup of coffee when I finally looked at the time on my microwave. It was five-thirty in the afternoon! I couldn't believe I'd slept in, why didn't Amelia wake me? I jumped up, spilling some coffee from my mug onto my nice kitchen table, only narrowly missing my sweater. I never wear white, except when I have to for work, for exactly that reason. I reached for my phone and dialed Merlotte's in a hurry.

"Merlotte's bar, finest by far," said a gruff but cheerful voice I recognized right away.

"Terry, it's Sookie."

"Oh. Hey gal, I'm just working the bar now. You alright?" he said with concern in his voice. I guess Amelia had told him I'd had a long night.

"Did you open up okay? I can be there in a minute. I'm sorry I slept in, I don't know why…" I trailed off because I felt myself on the verge of babbling.

He laughed a hearty laugh and said, "No problem. It's under control here. Holly's here but we were a little light staffed without you so Amelia's helping out taking orders. Don't worry about coming in tonight." Just then I heard a loud clatter and the sound of shattered glass followed by a woman's voice shouting a choice four-letter profanity in the background.

"S'that Amelia?" I said dryly. I sighed, I wouldn't have minded the night off.

"Uh…yeah. I'd best go now, Sookie. You really don't need to come in, though," he said, making it sound more like a question than a statement.

"No, Terry. I'm coming in. I could use the distraction." And that was probably the truth.

It was pretty busy tonight. It seemed like half the town was parked out front. I went in the employees' door and quickly put away my purse in my special drawer of Sam's desk. I was happy to find my shiny red phone sitting at the bottom of it. Thank goodness for that. I hurried behind the bar and tied on an apron. I flashed Terry a smile and waved at Holly as she passed with a tray full of beers, and then I got right down to business. And, boy, was it busy tonight. Almost every seat was full. I scanned the room carefully for any signs of Jason or Hotshot. I didn't have the patience for any of that tonight. I didn't want to make a scene but if he'd had the nerve to show his face tonight I'd be mighty tempted to have Terry show him out the back door—or worse. It looked like the coast was clear. I even saw Mayor Norris in the corner with his wife. He's a good tipper.

"Amelia, thanks for coming in to help. You can go have a seat with Tray now, don't worry about bussing those tables."

"Are you kidding me? I just made fifty bucks! Besides, you're short handed. I'm not going to leave you hanging like that," She said and gave a little shrug. I could see in her head that twenty of that fifty had come from Tray. She was happy even though she thought he was trying to make her feel better after she dropped his beer.

"Well, alright. Try not to break anything, though," I said, letting only a hint of a smile lift the corners of my mouth. She scowled at me and went about serving drinks and hustling food orders.

Amelia kept good pace and we worked steadily throughout the night. Arlene and I had always worked well together when it got busy. I was still pretty sore about her resignation speech last night. I hoped she would come to her senses and leave that sorry excuse for a boyfriend she has but it looks like she is stuck in with the FOTS crew for at least a while. She changed her whole life for him and become something she's not just to keep him happy, which she always does. I'd sooner be hit by a freight train than fall down that trap.

It was a relief to be around so many smiling familiar faces for a while. There was one face I didn't recognize tonight. Actually, there were a few, but this one in particular stood out –a handsome man with shoulder-length, sandy hair who sat at a corner table with a white wine in his hand. He was in a fitted black turtleneck with black slacks and coordinating shoes and belt that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe combined. He had an air of sophistication in his dress and manner not common in my little local bar. I wouldn't have minded have something good to look at tonight but he was seated in what was now Amelia's section. I was behind the bar putting my drink order on my tray when Amelia swung past me in a flurry.

"Hot stuff, huh?' she said. I guess I was being obvious.

"No kidding," I replied unabashedly with a look of appreciation. Hey, I was single. A girl can look.

I soon found out why the dinner crowd was thicker than usual. Word had gotten out that Merlotte's had its own live action revelation last night. The minds here buzzed with curiosity, hoping to catch a glance of a werewolf. No show tonight, folks. I felt many minds focused on Tray. Most of them knew what he was now and wondered things like how fast he could run or how strong he was. Hoyt was wondering if he could extend his claws like Wolverine. For the most part, it was all innocent curiosity mixed with some cautiousness. But there were a few who were thinking differently. A few minds were afraid—wondering if it was contagious or if they hunt in their other form. If so, what exactly do they hunt? Do they have sex with wild animals while changed? I had to shut my mind off. I worked until the end of the night with the door to my "gift" sealed tight because I just didn't want to know any more about the curiosity of our fine patrons. Maybe a small part of me knew firsthand that hanging around with supes could get you killed, but not for the reasons the townsfolk were thinking.

The rest of the night continued at its whirlwind pace. Amelia left with Tray and Holly rode home with Hoyt after the last of the customers left the bar. I made them go on home without bussing or cleaning since they'd picked up the slack during the lunch shift. Terry and I stayed another hour or so cleaning and prepping for tomorrow. I knew we had a good take tonight and Sam would be pleased. I reminded myself to call him tomorrow to see how he was doing.

I went to back in to Sam's office to get my things, taking extra care to not forget my cell phone again. Before I walked out, I began to look around the room, noticing how much Sam's office was just like him—relaxed, friendly, cozy, and absolutely nothing formal about Sam. He had only one framed photo on his desk, and it was a new addition. I guess you could say it was a company photo because it consisted of me, Arlene, Sam, Terry, and Holly from the night of the Halloween party this past year. Gosh, I looked tan. I wasn't too bad right now thanks to the tanning bed at the video rental place, but there's nothing like a real tan from the natural sun. You just feel like you're glowing gold. I set it the frame back down in its place and considered stacking all the loose papers scattered everywhere on the surface of the desk into a neat pile, but I thought better of it. I had just walked out of Sam's office and was scanning myself in the hall mirror when Terry stuck his head around the corner from the hallway.

"Let me walk you out." Which basically meant, _Let's go already_. I saw in Terrys' mind earlier that he had gotten Tivo and had a big football game to get home to.

"I'm ready when you are."

We walked out the employees' entrance together and locked both locks, turning out the lights as we went.

"I'd say we did pretty good on our own," he said proudly.

"I think so, too," I said with a small grin.

"Do it again tomorrow?"

"You got it." I gave him a little nudge on the arm before I reached for my keys and began unlocking my car door.

I was pulling out of my usual spot in back when my headlights angled on something near the tree line on the edge of the gravel. I pulled forward towards the road, but I kept peering towards the dark lump in the corner. In the light, I saw it glisten just a little. Curiosity got the best of me, so I put my car in park and decided to go take a look. It was probably a bag of garbage some raccoon tried to drag away from the dumpster.

Terry was behind me in his truck and he was ready to get home. I didn't want to hold him up, blocking the exit like that, but the last thing we'd both need tomorrow is to pick up a bunch of chicken bones and beer bottles after the coons scattered the contents of that bag everywhere. As I got closer to it, it began to take shape.

It was no trash bag. It looked more and more like a body of some sort, but not human exactly. I started moving very quickly to close the gap between the lifeless creature and myself until finally I was standing right in front of it. It _was_ a body—some sort of animal, or was it a man? I gasped and slowly knelt to the ground, looking closer at this body, this thing. I sucked in a deep ragged breath.

It was horrid. I cannot explain the violence of what I saw that night. There were shreds of flesh missing all over. A chunk here, a piece there, and blood covered most of the torso and limbs like an oil slick. The limbs were lean and long, though mangled and broken, covered in thick hair but not quite a coat. It had massive paws but they extended almost like fingers, with sharp claws an inch long on some, broken off on others. I followed what I knew for sure were the arms up to where the head was. The face was gone. I mean gone. I saw its midsection had been split open, which was now exposing the insides of this wild thing lying before me. It took a moment to understand what I was looking at. It was a werepanther. A bitten, mutilated werepanther. I couldn't look anymore, my mind swirled with lurid visions, and I collapsed onto my backside on the sharp gravel.

"What _is_ that?" Terry said from behind me. He had gotten out of his truck and was standing over me now.

"It's Jason," I said in a whisper.


	3. Chapter 3

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampire Series or any of the characters featured below. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

"_Behold, on wrong Swift vengeance waits; and art subdues the strong_."

**Homer **_**The Odyssey**_

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"Jesus Christ," he gasped. "What on earth…"

We both stayed very still and silent for a long moment. _I could be wrong_ I told to myself. It might not be Jason. It could be someone else. I searched my mind desperately for any sign of the silent strumming of his being, still buzzing, still burning. Not here but somewhere else, somewhere safe and laughing where I could hate him for all the things he'd done. It was gone. Like a pilot light that had been snuffed out. He was gone and I knew it in my soul.

A voice called out from the silence.

"Sookie," Bill said in a chilling voice.

"We need to call the police. Or an ambulance.'" _Or a vet,_ he thought. Terry paused. "Are you sure this is Jason, Sookie?" he said sounding a little panicked. He was wondering what on earth Jason had gotten himself into and if I was a were animal, too.

"I'm sure." I didn't want to explain that right now. I can't tell you how I was so certain this unrecognizable face was his, but I knew. I just kept my eyes focused on the trees. Oh, Jason, what did you do? What happened to you?

"No police," said the cool voice." Sookie, I need to call Calvin. Do you have your phone?"

I lifted my arm and pointed towards the car in slow motion. I felt drugged. In a second, Bill was back and on the phone with someone. He spoke quickly and flipped the phone closed. Terry had started pacing in the gravel. He'd seen a lot fighting in Vietnam and had a stomach for just about any sight, but this was pushing him to the edge. His anxiety almost coaxed me out of my near catatonic state.

"You need to go," Bill said smoothly. "We'll take care of everything. You didn't see this." It was practically an order.

"Sookie, do you want me to stay," Terry said in an unsteady voice. He was trying to be brave, but he wanted no part of this and was nervous as hell in the presence of a mutilated animal he'd just found out was my brother.

I shook my head. I heard Bill and Terry exchange a few words before I felt Bill kneel by my side, resting his hand on my back.

"Sookie, let me take you home," he said calmly.

"No. I need to be here. He was my brother." _Was_ my brother. The last conversation we'd ever had, we'd disowned each other. But in this moment I just felt sad. He had lied and manipulated within an inch of his life. He charmed and used women for fun, but he didn't deserve this. I was happy to never speak his name again and throw away every picture of him in my house, because it hadn't occurred to me I would never see him alive again. The cold gravel was cutting though my skin as I sat limply in the place I'd fallen. I began to gather myself and stand up. Bill moved with me in slow synchronicity. I finally reached my feet and turned to him when I noticed headlights as a truck pulled right up next to us. Calvin and Mel jumped out either side of the dusty pickup and joined us. Bill gave them a small nod and with that they both leaned down for a closer look. With a push, Calvin stood back up and faced us.

"You two can go now," Calvin said with sad eyes directed only at me.

"What are you going to do?" I said.

"We'll take care of it, Sookie. We can't involve the police. You know we take care of our own, and Jason was one of us."

"What about his body?" my head swam, "What about a funeral?" It was the least I could do.

"Sookie," he began slowly. "We need to put him to ground right away. We have a place for that out in Hotshot. He's too messed up, Sookie." I understood what he was saying. He was thinking they had nowhere to store the body for a day or two until a proper funeral. Not anywhere animals couldn't get to him.

Oh, God.

I hate that feeling you get right before you pass out. You know it's coming and you can't stop it. It's the utter lack of control of your own body, the helplessness, which I hate. Before my head crashed into the gravel below me and I completely lost consciousness, I felt an arm like a steel belt swoop underneath me and then everything went dark.

When I woke, I was lying in my bed. Was it all a dream? Maybe I'd slept through the whole day and none of it had happened. I blinked a few times and opened my eyes. I looked down to see I was wearing my blue velour pajamas, and I was tucked in bed. It was dark out still so maybe it was just a dream, just a nightmare. I sensed something move in the corner of the room. My nerves were frayed and I quickly reached for the vase on my nightstand intending to send it crashing towards the disturbance—until I heard him speak.

"Sookie, it's alright." Like a stream over smooth pebbles, the voice was Bill's. I sat up in my bed and took a few moments to collect myself.

"It really happened then."

"Yes," he said so carefully it scared me.

I fell back into my pillows and rolled over on my side. So that's it, it's really just me now, the last Stackhouse. I was almost glad my Gran wasn't alive right now because this may have killed her. I know she loved us both but she doted on Jason. I think she knew I would be alright no matter what, that I could take care of myself, just like she raised me to. Jason, on the other hand, had a habit of getting himself in trouble. If my special gift was telepathy, his was being a trouble magnet. But he was always forgiven because we thought underneath it all was a heart of gold. In these last few years, he'd lost that somehow. He'd become a callous man who did for himself first and couldn't see beyond his own fingertips. I thought of his fingertips tonight. Broken and torn. Did you fight for your life tonight, Jason? And my heart sank, knowing regardless of whether he fought like it was the last time or not, he'd lost.

"You don't need to stay here, I'll be fine." I wanted to be alone.

"I'd feel better if you let me watch over you, at least for tonight."

"Since when do you ask permission to watch me?" I snapped.

"Whoever did that to Jason is still out there, Sookie. We don't know if they are after you or not, but the message was enough."

"Message? What message?" I rolled over and looked at him, confused. He moved forward, and I could see his face dimly in the moonlight from the window. He sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Someone killed Jason and left him in the parking lot of your workplace, Sookie. There would have been more blood if…" he stopped where he was.

As tired and heartsick as I was, it finally clicked into place what he was getting at.

"You don't think he died there. You think someone dropped him in that spot."

I could see him nod. The glowing helped.

"You think someone killed him as a threat to me? Why wouldn't they just kill me?"

"I don't know, Sookie. It's possible they want you alive and just wanted to hurt you or warn you."

"Who on earth would do such a thing?" My mind went spinning to all the usual suspects. Sandra Pelt? Not her style. Could Hot Rain still be looking for vengeance? It didn't make sense—Jason's death wouldn't hurt Eric—although I don't think mine would either at this point. Hallow's dead. Sweetie's dead. Andre's dead. Too many people I've known are dead. I tried to shake off the thought.

"I don't really know, Sookie, but it's best I stay. The sun will be rising soon, and I will be gone before you wake."

He was concerned for me. I saw it on his face. He was sad for me too. I saw that in his eyes.

"That's fine," I said peacefully. It wasn't worth the fight.

I snuggled back into my pillows and tried to forget everything. I curled my hand into a fist started poking my thumbnail into my hand just to distract me from all my other pain. I felt the mattress depress next to me, and a cool arm wrapped around my waist. I almost cussed him out and rescinded his invitation, but the comfort felt good, so I loosened my fist and let myself slip away.

The next day was Hell. I woke to the aroma of hot coffee and Amelia lying on her stomach next to me with her elbows propping her up, chin in her palms, looking at me with intensity. People really like being on my bed without asking permission.

"I made you coffee," she said as she gestured towards the nightstand.

"Thanks." I sat up and reached for the mug and took a few sips.

"How are you feeling?" She was asking two or three questions at once with that one sentence.

"I'm fine, Amelia," I said as I set down my coffee and readied myself for having to discuss this.

"Well, Calvin called and said everything has been taken care of. And Mel stopped by. He said the police probably wouldn't start wondering where Jason is for a few days." She paused. "I'm sorry if that was too much information right now. We don't have to talk about it."Mentally, she was kicking herself.

"No, I need to know these things." I wished I didn't. "Did Calvin say if they were having any sort of ceremony?" I asked, not being all that familiar with werepanther rituals.

She gave me a sad look and said, "No, I didn't ask. Do you want me to call and find out?"

"I'll call him later." I turned my head to the clock on the nightstand to find out how late _later_ was. It was after five o' clock.

"I slept in again?" I said, exasperated by this new pattern. There were lots of new patterns forming in my life that I didn't like these days.

"Don't worry about it, Sookie. You're not working today, Sam & Terry insisted. Oh, by the way, Sam called."

I nodded.

"And Claudine was here for a while, but I wouldn't let her wake you. She had to go but she said she'd come back later."

I nodded again as I stared blankly around the room.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Sookie?" she said very sincerely, searching my eyes for an answer.

"I need to get up and make some calls. Thanks for the coffee, but I think I just need a little privacy right now," I said and gave her what I knew was a weak smile.

"Just take it easy, Sookie." Amelia rolled to the edge of the bed, and swung her feet to the floor.

When she got to the doorway, she turned back to face me before closing it. "I'm so sorry, Sookie," she said. I could see in her head she really meant it, and she was deeply concerned about me. She wasn't sure how to console me and didn't know how to react in situations like this. That made two of us.

After a minute or two, I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom with some fresh clothes. When I was showered and dressed, I grabbed my little cell phone out of my purse that was lying on the chair in the corner. Bill must have brought it home—and he changed me the night before, because the jeans and sweater I wore yesterday were lying next to my purse. I moved my stack of clothes onto the dresser and settled in my old chair, pulling my worn afghan around me.

I decided to call Sam first.

"Sookie?" he said in his warm familiar voice.

"Hi, Sam."

"Oh, Sookie. I am so sorry. I just can't believe it. How are you?"

"I'm okay, Sam," I said as I pulled my knees up, wrapping my free arm around them, holding the phone to my ear with the other. "I just don't really know what happened."

I heard him take exhale slowly on the other end of the line.

"Jason may have been reckless, but he wasn't stupid. Calvin called me this morning and told me what he knew, and I think he wanted to make sure Terry could keep to himself. Don't worry, Sookie. I'll find out who did this, and I'll take care of it myself" I knew from his tone he was serious, and I knew from experience that if provoked, Sam could be a real threat. Sam is a true shifter and can change into any animal, including a lion. The night I watched him fight in that form at the Were war was one of the most intense nights of my life. And that's saying a lot.

"Thank you for the offer. When I find out, I'll let you know," I said. As much tension and anger as there was between my brother and me, it hit me that the last favor I could do for him, to bring peace to us—even after death—was to avenge him. And that's what I would do. I knew Sam would help me when he got back in town.

"How are you doing, Sam? How is your mother?" I said as my manners surfaced.

"She's getting better. She's out of the ICU now, but they won't release her for a few more days. They are amazed at the amount of healing she's done. I think the doctors are getting suspicious about that." He paused for a moment. "And Don is in custody but Mom doesn't want to press charges. I don't know how this revelation is going to work out, Sookie. When the officers left her room after asking us some questions, I heard them in the hallway joking that he hadn't committed any crime—because he had a valid hunting license." He spit out the last sentence like it was one fire.

"Don't worry about them, Sam. They're too stupid to know better." I felt angered by the lack of understanding some humans had for people who were different.

"I know. Sorry for rambling about my problems. I know you're dealing with a lot more than me right now. It's just nice to hear your voice. Nice to have someone to talk to about this."

"I know what you mean," I said in full understanding.

"Sookie, I wish I could be there with you now. I'm gonna get back home as soon as I can. Is there anything I can do for you from here?"

"Just take care of your mama, Sam. I'll see you soon."

"One more thing—promise me you'll take care of yourself. That you'll keep yourself safe till I get back," he said in a serious tone.

"I'll do my best, Sam." I said and hung up the phone.

I felt a little more confident after speaking with Sam. I had more clarity on where I was supposed to go from here. I decided to call Calvin.

"Hey Sookie."

"Hi Calvin."

"You alright?"

"Yeah." I paused and refocused myself. "I'll be fine. Where is he?"

"He's in the family plot. Right next to my own father." I could tell by the way he said this, it was a great honor.

"Thank you, Calvin. And thank you for taking care of him. Will there be a ceremony?"

"We do have a ceremony, but I don't think it would be safe for you to come. It's on the next full moon," he said.

"I understand." I couldn't even give him a proper goodbye, I thought sadly. "Have you found out anything? Where was he supposed to be last night?"

"I've asked everyone here—they don't know anything. Crystal is still in bed, mostly out of it because of the morphine. He was pretty riled up after you left the night before, but we had a talk and he seemed to calm down some. He knew not to change alone. We only shift as a pack. Mel talked to him around eight thirty last night to see if he was coming out with the rest of us, but Jason said he wanted to stay in for the night."

I chewed that over in my mind for a minute. Why couldn't you have followed the rules for once in your life, Jason? I almost said it out loud, but I caught myself.

"What do you think happened?" I took a gulp as I had a flash of the broken exposed rib cage I'd seen last night. A flood of nausea bubbled inside me.

"I wanted to talk to you about that." He sighed and continued. "Sookie, I think it was another were. Maybe more than one. The scent was too mixed up to tell. Maybe it was something different. It's just those marks and wounds seemed very familiar, very organic. I am sure it wasn't human."

I thought about that for a moment. "Please let me know if anything comes up. Keep me in touch."

"Sookie, we look after our own here. We won't let this pass. If I find something, you'll be the first to know," he said, sounding absolutely resolute.

"Thank you, Calvin," I said, from the bottom of my heart.

We talked a little while longer about some other details, and after we hung up, I realized I was starving. I went downstairs into the kitchen, passing Amelia who had fallen asleep slumped on the sofa with her laptop still in her lap. I made myself a turkey sandwich because messing around with pots and pans for cooking would have awoken Amelia, and she didn't look all that rested earlier. I sat at my table with a glass of peach tea and now half-eaten turkey sandwich, trying to figure out what to do next. I could call Alcide. If it had been a Were that killed Jason, he may have some clue or maybe heard something. Maybe he'd be able to pick up a scent. The Shreveport pack owed me and with Alcide as packmaster I knew they would come through.

I saw the light blinking on my answering machine and decided to check it. There was one message. I played it only to find it was a hang up. I just hated that. I decided to scroll through my caller ID to see whom it was, only to be shocked by the number for my only missed call. It was Fangtasia. Maybe it was Pam? But, I didn't think so because she has always left a message. It must have been Eric. Considering his utter lack of communication over the last few weeks, it fit his MO to finally call and then not say a word. I might have liked to talk to him, though. Even though he gave me no reason to want that.

Just then, I heard a _pop!_. I flinched and looked up to find Claudine standing before me in all her fairy glory. Well, not really. She was wearing black slacks and a fitted lilac button-up shirt with her nametag still pinned to the left breast. But as usual, she looked absolutely luminous.

"Sookie!" she exclaimed as she rushed to my side and leaned over to give me a hug. Which was awkward because I was in mid-bite.

"I'm okay, Claudine, really," I said after almost a minute passed of hugging and being veiled underneath her curtain of black hair.

"Are you sure? Don't try to be brave, Sookie. I've seen the mourning process many times. Humans take a long time, and they do it in stages. Oh, no! You're still in denial aren't you?" she said as she sat down next to me and began stroking my arm.

"No Claudine, I'm pretty clear on what's happened." _Yes, very clear_, I thought to myself. Crystal, in fact.

She looked at me closely and furrowed her brow. At least she quit petting me, I thought. She, however, turned her attentions to the napkin in front of her and began wringing it back and forth, observing the action with intensity. Not very Claudine like but I guess comforting humans was something of a mystery to her still, although I'd given her lots of practice.

Just then a thought occurred to me.

"Claudine, will you come with me to Jason's house?"

"Yes, Sookie, whatever you need—I'm here. When do you want to go?"

No time like the present.

"Now," I said and lifted myself from my chair.

"What are we going to do there?" she said quizzically. "Is this the closure stage?"

I was already headed upstairs to get my car keys, so I leaned over the banister and answered her.

"We're going to find out who killed Jason."

And the last thing I saw before I ducked back up the stairs was an indistinguishable expression flash across Claudine's angelic face, something close to contrition.


	4. Chapter 4

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampire Series or any of the characters featured below. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

"_Thou art to me a delicious torment._"

**-Ralph Waldo Emerson**

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I fishtailed out of my parking spot in the gravel behind my house.

"Easy, tiger!" Claudine said, grabbing onto the _Oh, shit!_ handle above the car window. That's what I call them because every time Jason dropped me off at school in his truck, I'd have to hang on to it for dear life. He drove pretty recklessly amongst the many other things he did that way.

"Sorry, I'll slow down." I was just glad to have purpose. "No tiger references, please," I said, giving her a grimace.

"No problem," she said with a wink.

Again, as I was pulling out of the driveway, I was sure my headlights caught a flash of white through the pines. I was half tempted to roll down my window and tell Bill or whomever it was to get a life.

"I want to be serious with you for a minute, Sookie," Claudine said after a while.

"Alright," I replied.

"I know you're in pain right now, but you don't need to risk your live for revenge. Give yourself some time to heal. Let Calvin take care of it. Or Sam. Or even Bill," her eyes pleading as she finished.

"I can take care of myself. Calvin's already helping and Sam will, too." I left out Bill because I didn't need to give him a reason to be hanging around.

"Maybe I'll call Eric," I added finally, sounding a little optimistic.

"Oh, Sookie," she said sadly, resting a hand on my shoulder.

"What?" I said, shifting in my seat. I was hoping I didn't come off sounding like some forlorn groupie of his. We had talked a few times since the takeover, mostly him leaving naughty little messages on my voicemail about memories from our time together. Truthfully, I looked forward to them, but he stopped calling last month without a word or an explanation. I knew he was busy and I didn't want to seem needy, so I figured he'd call when he's ready.

"Sookie, he's seeing _Selah_ now," she said softly.

"WHAT?" I burst out and swerved onto the shoulder of the road.

Claudine sighed heavily and looked out her passenger window at the trees flashing by.

"Sookie, Eric's new human assistant at Fangtasia, Jon, is dating Claude. Jon keeps breaking dates with Claude because he's working too much overtime. When Claude asked him why he said it was because Eric was spending all his time with a lady friend," she paused, "Sookie, he said she was an attorney named Selah Pumphrey."

I just kept my eyes on the road.

"Please don't say anything, Sookie. Claude really likes Jon and doesn't want him to get punished or I would have told you sooner," she said as her voice trailed off.

"Well, screw him," I said nastily. Selah's running around picking up my sloppy seconds, but Eric should have known better. He has hundreds of Fangbangers to choose from, but he chose to run with the one that would make my blood boil. The worst part was, it hurt, but not just because it was Selah. I'd never heard of Eric dating anyone before, I didn't even think he was interested in that type of thing.

We pulled up to Jason's small home, which used to be my parent's house. It seemed so quiet and desolate tonight. Jason's truck was still here parked in its worn diagonal spot in the grass. I didn't know what to make of that. We pulled up next to it and got out of the car.

"What now?" Claudine asked.

"We need to look around." I figured that was the next logical step.

I walked over to his car and cupped my hands against the window peeking into the interior through the dark tinted glass. I tried the handle but it was locked. Nothing out of the ordinary there, so I decided to move on.

As I was walked around the side of the truck, I saw two small dots of light shining from the side of the house next to the viburnum shrubs my father had planted for my mother as a Mother's Day gift many years before. The dots began to move forward, and suddenly from underneath the darkness, a figure began to reveal itself. I started backing away.

"Uh, Claudine?" I said nervously.

"I see. Stay very still." And in an instant she was in front of me, pressing me backwards with her every step. I knew Claudine was a formidable opponent for just about any attacker, but I wanted to see what we were up against. I poked my head around the side of her shoulder, only to see there were three sets of eyes. We were outnumbered. I steadied myself and wrapped my right hand tightly around my keys forming a solid fist. I certainly wasn't the biggest or the baddest, so I thought I just needed to be the scrappiest.

Suddenly, I recognized the faces that were forming out of the darkness.

"It's alright, Claudine—I think they're friends," I said as I wrestled away from her attempt to keep me behind her.

I began to move closer to the figures, holding my hand up with my palm facing out. I recognized the molten green-gold eyes of the one who led. Two others were flanking his sides. He was a beautiful creature with limbs that padded forward in a liquid motion. The sleek tawny coat was a rich golden tan that faded to white on his chest and muzzle. The one on his right was smaller with a black fur just as sleek and that moved just as smoothly, but with a more delicate step. He made a low purring sound as I approached. The one on the left was the largest. He was bigger than I thought a panther could be. The same earth color as the first with the same large feline eyes lined in black, but with paws nearly the size of a dinner plates. His eyes seemed almost neon in their greenness. They stopped about ten feet in front of us. I slid my keys in my jacket pocket and stepped forward again, with both hands extended now. Claudine pinched my arm and gave me a look of caution.

I returned my gaze back to the panther and said, "Calvin."

I felt sure it was Calvin, but it would be just my luck to run into the last wild hungry pack of panthers in Louisiana. He bristled in confirmation, and I was sensing calm from the scramble of his mind. He was here looking for something, too. He was a man of his word. I was touched.

I moved closer until I was right in front of him, and I knelt down to eye level. I slowly placed my hand on the back of his neck and leaned forward, closing my eyes, to touch my nose to his. I could feel his whiskers as he complied.

"Thank you for being here," I said, feeling glad that Jason had not driven away every person who cared enough to help—even after his death. He wasn't forgotten. And even if Calvin was only doing it for me, it still meant just as much.

I got back up, joining Claudine and watched as the trio of majestic creatures gracefully resumed their search around the house, with their powerful tails swaying behind them. I knew they wouldn't be here if there wasn't something here to find.

To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampire Series or any of the characters featured below. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

"_Toil and pleasure, dissimilar in nature, are nevertheless united by a certain natural bond."_

**-Titus Livius**

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**.**

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When Claudine and I got to the front door, I noted there were no signs of forced entry. I just knew all that CSI I watched would come in handy.

"Do you have a key?" Claudine whispered.

"Yes. Wait. No, I don't," I corrected myself. I had given it back to Jason after our fight at Hotshot. Why was I so confused lately?

"But I can get us one."

I crossed the porch and found the spare key under the ceramic lawn frog that now resided on the porch like an ugly paperweight.

I unlocked the door, and we entered the house. When I turned on the lights, it looked exactly the same as when I was here last. Except there was a big open box on the floor next to a plastic framed square in pink and white that looked like the beginnings of a crib. There were a few screwdrivers and a wrench lying on the coffee table next to an instruction manual written in Spanish. Jason had been getting ready for a baby. His daughter. I felt my heart crack on the spot. I fought back the impulse to cry, because I was on a mission. It wasn't time for that.

"We need to try to not move anything around, Claudine. In a day or two the police will be by here, and I don't want to disturb anything," I said to her. Since the whole town knew Jason and I weren't on speaking terms for the last few months, Calvin said he was going to have Crystal file a missing persons report tomorrow or the day after, when she was recovered. They were broken up, but he went round there frequently to take her supplies for the pregnancy. It was a sensible plan and one I couldn't have come up with in my current state of mind.

"I'll wait here and keep watch," she said, as she curiously took in the living room.

I walked down the hallway to the bedroom that was Jason's. I opened the creaking door and was surprised with what I found. The whole room was destroyed. The dresser had been pushed over and was now smashed onto the floor, the mattress was flipped over, broken glass and clothing covered the carpet like a first snow. Even a window was broken, letting in a cool breeze of night air. It was like a small hurricane Katrina hit his bedroom. I pushed the door open as wide as I could, but a CD player was wedged between it and the wall, so I had to maneuver my arm around just to get it open.

I walked in and surveyed the room, when something I'd stepped on cracked underneath my shoe. I carefully picked it up. I flipped it glass side up while looking for a safe place to lay it, when I suddenly recognized it. Underneath the spider web of shattered glass was an eight by ten photo of my family. Or what once was my family. It was of me, my mom and dad, and Jason. We were all wearing Christmas sweaters for our last family photo—our last Christmas together. My parents died the following year, and now Jason was gone, too. I was the only one left. My eyes welled up and my throat burned. I felt like misery was hunting me down lately. I laid the photo face up on the only piece of furniture not tipped over, the nightstand. I knew I shouldn't move anything for the investigators, but I couldn't bear to set it on the floor. As I turned to leave the room, I bumped right into Claudine's chest.

"Oh! I didn't see you there, Claudine," I said, taking a small step back. Those fairies could be as silent as the vamps sometimes.

I looked up and saw her face was frozen, her eyes were wide, and her nostrils were flared. Just then there was a ferocious snarling sound in the distance.

"We need to get out of here," she said.

"What's wrong? What was that?" I said. I'd never seen her so still. She looked like a spooked Botticelli.

"Now, Sookie. We need to go now!" And just like that she came to. She grabbed my arm, practically dragging me down the hall and out the front door.

"Ow! Claudine, what the hell are you doing?"

"Get in the car! Let's go, let's go!" she said, giving me the chop-chop.

She practically flew to the car with me in tow. She opened my driver side door and put me in the seat, closing the door on me. In one second flat, she was sitting beside me in the passenger seat. I could tell she was quite serious, because that was not a mood she was in very often.

"Faster, Sookie," she said as I was carefully reversing my car to turn around.

I can do faster. I sped out of the long driveway and back out onto the main road. After I put some serious distance between us and the house, I decided to get some answers.

"What was _that_ about?"

"I caught a scent," she said flatly.

"Okay, great," I said patiently. We were there to find clues, and we found one. "We should have stayed. That could have been important, Claudine. We should go back and follow it. Was it a Were?"

"No." Flat.

"No, it wasn't a Were or, no, don't go back?" I was getting a little frustrated.

"Both." Flat.

"You're being a little cryptic here. Care to elaborate?"

"It was something different. You don't chase after 'different' if a fairy says it's different." Flat.

"What does that even mean, Claudine?" I was getting tired of asking questions.

"Look Sookie, I don't know what your brother got himself into, but you need to stay away from this," she implored me with newfound fervor in her tone. "I'm asking you this because I care about you, Sookie. As a favor to me, _please_ don't do this. Sometimes you have to let sleeping dogs lie," she said remorsefully.

"Don't you mean let dead panthers lie?" I said acidly. "If you don't want to help me, that's fine. But don't for a second tell what not to do. I won't do _nothing_. I won't."

She looked wounded by my words and said nothing else for the rest of the ride home. Neither did I. I couldn't think of a good reason why Claudine would keep anything from me. Like I needed one more person keeping secrets. I didn't care if it was a fire-breathing dragon back there. I wasn't going to back down from anything.

Now I was back to square one, lost again. I'd have to go back tomorrow on my own, with a shotgun, of course. Did I get the Benelli back from Jason? My state of confusion lately was more frustrating than anything else. I gritted my teeth and almost felt steam piping from my ears. _Get yourself together, Sookie,_ I told myself. _You won't be any good to yourself or anyone else, walking around like some angry, disoriented zombie._

For the rest of the short ride, I tried to clear my mind in an almost meditative way, using all the focus I could muster to alleviate some of the stress on my brain. Plus, it helped me ignore the six-foot fairy godmother brooding away in my passenger seat. But as I was bumping down my driveway, I felt more angry and confused than ever. My efforts were in vain.

I didn't know it yet, but the source of my problem was waiting for me on my porch swing.


	6. Chapter 6

**disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampire Series or any of the characters featured below. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

"…the tragedy begins, not when there is misunderstanding about words, but when silence is not understood."

_**Henry David Thoreau**_

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"Some fucking nerve," I muttered to myself as I slammed my car door shut. I was losing my religion by the hour now.

As I walked past the glossy candy apple red Corvette parked in my driveway, I almost dug my key down along the side of it. But I'm a lady so I only pressed down once, very lightly. What I really wanted to do was do a custom job, with "_Selah Humper_" in cursive on the hood. He picked the wrong night. I stormed onto my porch with Claudine trailing behind me.

Eric rose to his statuesque magnificence under the dim porch light. Even in tight blue jeans and a white T-shirt, he looked like something close to an Adonis. His golden blonde hair fell softly over his shoulders, and his blue eyes sparkled with vitality. All this gloriousness just pissed me off more.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," I said caustically, as I confronted him on the porch. I put my hand on my hip too, and gave him the most disapproving all-over look I could conjure up. But it was a lie. He looked incredible, and despite my current outrage, I felt a warmth spreading…

"Sookie," Eric said uncertainly as he began to reach his hands out slightly towards me and then restrained the movement.

"Where have you taken her this night?" he commanded to Claudine, giving her the same look he gives Pam when she's done wrong. I got the impression his anger wasn't entirely due to mine being shared with him via the blood bond. But it was typical of him to show up uninvited and act like he owns the place.

Well, I wasn't having that.

"Don't talk to my guest like that," I snapped at him. Not that I particularly considered my fairy companion a welcome guest at the moment, what with her secrecy, but his audacity to question someone who actually _did_ talk to me was out of line. Consequently, Claudine gave him a satisfied smirk.

"I must talk to you," he said urgently. He was certainly serious because he didn't even get that glazed-over look in his eyes that vamps get in the presence of fairies, whom they find delicious.

"Ha!" It just popped out. I couldn't help it, and I'm pretty sure I sneered at him.

"I don't think she's in the mood tonight," Claudine piped in with false enthusiasm. I shot an unfriendly look in her direction that said _shut it_ and turned my attention back to the six-foot-four Viking standing in front of me.

"You_ must _talk to me? Oh, that's rich. And when exactly did this sudden urge to communicate occur to you, Sheriff? " I was bitterly sarcastic.

"You've told her nothing," he said angrily to Claudine, furrowing his brows in a question.

She apprehensively looked back and forth between Eric and me with wide eyes and then looked down at her own hands. She began fidgeting again like she had at my kitchen table and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Claudine was…nervous? At that moment I felt like a giant "Huh?" just got etched on my forehead. Eric just looked irritated.

"Someone better tell me what's going on right now," I warned, narrowing my eyes.

We all stood stock-still on my front porch. I felt like we were playing the silent game: first who speaks loses. Claudine lost.

"Sookie, if he's staying, I'd better go," she said innocently breaking the silence, "You know how it is—vamps and fairies." She was clearly looking for an out, so I nodded my head in agreement. She moved forward to give me hug, but I crossed my arms across my chest in rejection. She wrapped her arms around me anyways and leaned down to my ear and whispered so lowly, it was barely decipherable.

"Please don't repeat what I told you, Claude will be furious if Jon gets hurt." She then straightened herself back up and turned to address Eric.

"Later, vamp," she said snidely. Eric returned her comment with a look of distaste and suddenly, with a _pop!_, she was gone.

"We need to go inside the house. We can speak freely there," Eric said in his deep rich voice, as he scanned the trees surrounding my house and then brought his eyes back to mine. I saw his face relax out of its stressed expression for just a second, and in that moment, I felt mine do the same.

"The porch is just fine," I said squarely. Eric looked out into the yard and sat in the swing, planting his feet firmly on the ground with his legs apart. I sat in a plastic lawn chair across from him. The lawn chair was cracked and uncomfortable but I would have rather sat in cow dung than next to him. Because, on top of the terrible concoction of emotions I was already experiencing, I was hurt that he hadn't come to see me sooner, that he hadn't come here without an agenda, and that he'd all but forgotten I'd existed. And I was mad at myself for caring.

He leaned forward, laying his hands on his big knees.

"Sookie," he started peaceably. "There is much you don't know. I see you are angry, but things are very complicated." He stopped, trying to find somewhere to begin.

"I'm pretty good at complicated, Eric," I said impatiently.

"I know. For that I am sorry," he said softly. Eric was sorry? He continued, "It was in your best interests that I stay away. With my new situation I have much greater responsibilities. I have been very busy. New obstacles have presented themselves that must be addre---"

I threw my hands in the air and cut him off. Yeah, I bet he has been busy, getting busy with that hussy.

"Eric, if you came here to give me a bunch of excuses, you can save it. You don't have to explain yourself to me. You could have called, but you didn't. Message received loud and clear. I hope you didn't come here tonight to try to hash this out, because I'm not interested. A lot has happened since you disappeared, and I've done just fine without you." Not entirely true, but I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction. It made me think of how much life had changed in the last two days alone.

"Now you need to be straight with me and tell me what was going on back there." I gestured with my hand to where Claudine had been standing.

"Sookie, I am not making excuses. I am trying to explain," he said intensely, his voice coming out in almost a hiss. He had my full attention now.

"There is a war. Niall is at war," he said slowly, watching my face transform from aggression to shock. Then he diverted his own eyes away. I swallowed hard and looked down at my hands in my lap, as I went totally silent. I felt his seriousness coming through our bond.

"I need to tell you the rest, but we must go inside," he said firmly, giving a quick glance at the woods.


	7. Chapter 7

**disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampire Series or any of the characters featured below. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

"_A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous_."

**Ingrid Bergman**

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"Fine," I said shortly and we headed in. When I got inside, I held the door open for him, but he didn't budge.

"You admiring the front door?" I said, wondering if he was going to remind me of where it came from. He could take it back for all I cared.

"No, you need to invite me in," he said flatly.

"Eric, I never rescinded your invite. Get in here," I said tiredly.

"Yes. But when I arrived the witch did," he said querulously.

"Well, why…" I said and then laughed for the first time in days.

"You walked right in, didn't you? And she threw you out, huh?" I said, still snickering at the thought that little Amelia tossed the Viking out onto the stoop. _Good girl, Amelia_.

"Yes, she has very bad manners," he said with superiority.

"You're one to talk, " I replied, "Eric, you may come in."

I noticed Eric sampling the air as he entered my living room, and I was tempted to tell him to try to not take up all the air in the room for once. He sat on the sofa, and I decided to sit next to him. This blood bond was a real Catch-22. The more distance I wanted from him because of my rotten mood, the more I felt compelled to be near him. I felt better by the inch, the closer I got to him. It was a great relief from my internal torments. So, although it wasn't my first choice for an antidote, I was willing to take any relief I could get, no matter what form it came in. But I couldn't help admitting to myself the form wasn't bad either. As he angled his body to face me, his muscles rippling as he did, I thought I saw a small smile pucker in one corner of his mouth. It took that one flash of arrogance to get me focused again.

"Who is Niall at war with?" I asked in a hurry, to get the ball rolling in the right direction. He deliberated and it looked like he didn't want to answer at all.

"She goes by Najine. She is very dangerous, and she is not alone. She is just as magical and powerful as Niall, if not more so. She has been in the Americas for centuries, since being driven from Scotland, and before that, from farther north. She was but a legend in my human life. She and Niall have been well-known enemies for as long as I can remember."

I took a minute to process this. Those fairies sure know how to hold a grudge, because Eric is 1,000 years old and remembers everything. Even if it only goes back half that far, it must be some vendetta. Of all the great-grandfathers in all the world, I ended up with a supernatural who had warmongering immortal enemies. Nothing has ever been easy for me, so I was happy to have Niall in my life, fairy prince baggage and all. I've lost all the family I'd ever had, and now the newest addition was in jeopardy. So on top of Jason, today's new reality was that the very last relative I had left might die. It left me hollow on the inside.

And the rub was that I seemed to be the last one to know, again. You would think being involved in a supernatural war would be just the kind of thing you would share with your loved ones. He should have told me about this himself. Or at the very least, Claudine could have confided in me. I thought we were close. So instead, I was sitting on my sofa finding out from a vampire, who had showed up on my doorstep after a month of no contact.

"So Niall is at war with other fae." I paused. "And why are _you_ telling me this? What does this have to do with you?"

"I have allied with Niall."

I was stupefied. I let out a gust of air and sat speechless for the second time tonight. He'd said it with some pride, but that just didn't fit. Eric's top ten list of favorite people consisted of the name "Eric" written ten times in ten different languages. Other than the fact that fairies were walking vampire cupcakes to him, Eric didn't like them. So why was he fighting in a fairy war?

"Why?" I hoped I didn't sound callous, but I just knew better than to think he got involved out of the kindness of his heart. Ha! Kindness of his heart…good one.

"I owed him from many years ago. When he asked for my assistance, I obliged," he said nonchalantly.

I mindlessly nodded a few times. Maybe I was trying to shake loose a reason any of this made sense.

"So you see, I had to avoid you. There is too much risk. Niall is too confident, it is a mistake for him to visit you. Najine will use any leverage she can find to trap him. You should have been warned sooner." His eyes glowed with anger at his last statement.

"So you're at war, too."

He nodded. I shouldn't have cared, but I felt down right depressed.

"Dear one, you need to know because you need to be watchful. It is possible they know about you. They could harm you." He paused. I looked up at him from the frayed edge of the pillow I'd been unraveling. He was looking at me with great sincerity.

"So you think they may be after me." I let that sink in for a moment, then something terrible clicked in my consciousness.

"They killed Jason." My brain chimed and echoed with sadness at the memory of his broken body, not even him anymore.

His jaw line tensed, and he looked thoughtfully at me for a moment. He hesitated before speaking, "It is a possibility, yes." He kept his eyes on me. "The shifter called me, so I came right away, otherwise I would not have come. They could be watching me as well."

"I am very sorry, Sookie," he said, and surprised me as he reached across the sofa and held my hand, giving it light squeeze.

I began to really feel the magnitude of my circumstances, only to find the weight of my sadness was crushing. Jason was gone in a more brutal way that I could ever have imagined possible, and it was likely due to Niall's war.

Niall—whom I brought into our lives.

If I was looking for the responsible party, I need look no further. I wanted to check my hands for bloodstains, but they were trembling too much to move.

Niall was in danger, and now Eric, whom I shouldn't give a flying flea about, was on the line, too. At the rate I was going, I would have no one left by sunrise. I tried to remind myself I had my friends, but Amelia would probably marry Tray and move on with her life soon.

My old best friend Arlene thought I was an abomination and declared me "inhuman" in front of half the town. If it were two hundred years earlier, I'd be burned at the stake by her doing. I would never have a normal life, a family, or even some small happiness to call my own, which is all I'd been trying to create for myself. These days I knew better than to hope for anything more than waking up alive. My eyes welled and I fought the urge, but I felt a rogue tear blaze its way down my burning cheek. When that the first tear broke through my wall of pride and bravery, a flood quickly ensued. Eric looked startled as I covered my face under my hands.

"Sookie," he said quietly.

He reached over and pulled me onto his lap, and I buried my face into his broad chest. And with his big arms engulfing me, I was sobbing profusely before I knew it. He let me hide in his arms and cry without saying a word, which was the best part because it felt so good to let it out without having to listen to a pep talk. My spirit was broken, and it made me feel like a weak fool. I'd let all the bad things around me win, but I just didn't have any fight left. I am not in the habit of crying on people (or in this case, a vampire), but it was a release, and if Eric didn't mind, I was willing to indulge myself.

When the worst was over, I sucked in a few jagged breaths, and I looked up from my cocoon. My vision cleared from my blurry tears, and I saw I'd made a nice little Rorschach inkblot test in tears on Eric's nice white shirt. It looked like a disfigured butterfly.

"Oh, no! I'm sorry!" I said as I sniggered a little at my artwork, through my stuttering sobs.

"Not a problem. I keep a spare in my car when I know you will be around," he said, giving me that dazzling "Eric" smile.

I could tell he wanted to say something else, but it seemed like too many things. So instead we just stared at each other like the answer would walk in the door any second. I don't know what I was searching for that night from Eric. Comfort? Companionship? I didn't think he could offer me any of those things in a lasting way. But being this close made me feel safe and beautiful, and best of all right now, it made me forget.

My enjoyment of his company wasn't entirely due to the blood bond, either. I couldn't deny that I did care for him, but it was useless and painful knowing he didn't seem to feel the same way. He'd run off just like all the others. I bet when he'd finally remembered the time he spent with me, it made him feel like I was already a conquest, another notch on his infinite bedpost. It was the mystery and the chase that held his attention, not me. Been there, done that, moving on.

Granted, he had a whopper of a reason, but they always do have their good reasons for disappearing, don't they? My maker, my mama, my job, I'd heard it all and I was tired of excuses. I just knew I deserved to come first in a man's life because that's what I was willing to offer in return. And Eric had confessed nothing of his heart or intentions, so there was no reason to hope for anything more than our current non-relationship that was now barely a friendship. No reason to reach up and touch his cool perfect face with my hand, or to lean in those few inches and place my mouth on his.

But that's exactly what I did.


	8. Chapter 8

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampires series or any of the characters featured. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

"_Judge not, and ye shall not be judged… forgive, and ye shall be forgiven"_

**Luke 6:37**

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I joined our lips briefly for a soft peck in my moment of weakness. I told myself I was thanking him for being here now and letting me let go. Which was true, because he was the shoulder I least expected to cry on. I was mighty grateful to him.

Eric was clearly surprised, because for a few moments he just looked in deep thought and didn't react. He looked just as confused as I felt.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I know you are probably involved with someone by now," I said, thinking of his new fling, Sel—_ugh_, I couldn't even think the name—she who shall not be named. The truth was, I was more hurt than angered by my jealousy. I wasn't even sure if it was true, and—I don't know—maybe I was testing him. It just seemed so out of character for Eric. But Claudine has always looked out for me, and I don't think she would be so concerned with Jon's safety if there weren't something there. I wanted to ask him, I wanted him to be honest with me, but I couldn't jeopardize my friendship with Claudine. I'd compromised a lot of my values in order to survive over the last couple of years, but being trustworthy and loyal was not something I was willing to sacrifice, no matter the price.

"I am not _involved _with anyone," he said it like the word was contaminated, "And do not be sorry."

Then Eric put his fingertips on my face and lightly kissed me a few times, lingering after each. Before long he returned my impromptu kiss with increasing intensity—and it took my breath away. Kissing Eric was much more than I remembered. It was as if his lips had a gravitational pull on every sense and impulse in my body. My temperature soared up 10—no, 15 degrees, as he ran his fingers underneath my hair pulling me close, so close, our lips still moving in a rhythmic pattern as if choreographed by the gods of kissing. If they were watching now, they were certainly smiling at their triumph. I remembered to breath and inhaled deeply. He smelled just wonderful.

Suddenly, I was lifted in his strong arms as he carried me up the stairs to my bedroom. He kicked the partially cracked door open wide and gently laid me on top of the covers like a princess, and then carefully lowered his own body onto mine. He didn't say a word as he looked down at me with deep blue eyes, smoothing away the hair from my face, tucking a few strands behind my ears. He began kissing my cheeks where the trail of hot tears had fallen. He didn't say a word, and he was taking his time. I could feel through our bond the minute I saw him on my porch how much he wanted me, and I could feel it even more now. His desire was so intense, it distracted me from every scrap of common sense I had that made me doubt him. I felt him press against me, between my legs, as he let his mouth trail down my neck. I moved underneath him restlessly, feeling his hardness. I knew his skin was cool but everything about him right then seemed on fire, and it made me moan. We began pressing firmly together, back and forth, over and over, until I thought every cell in my body was sparking. I was holding on to him for dear life, as my hands were on his lower back digging my fingernails into his flesh so hard I was sure I'd drawn blood, pulling him tighter into me through our clothes. He let out a deep moan, pressing deeply into me and staying there. I pushed my hips up, grinding myself against him, knowing we were both on the edge of a powerful release, when he lifted his lips from my neck to my ear.

"Not yet," he whispered.

It didn't seem possible, but the real Eric was a smoother operator than amnesia man. He raised himself on his knees and in one motion pulled his shirt off and discarded it on the floor, revealing his strong muscular chest. I couldn't help but admire the beauty of his physique, as he relearned my curves with his hands and began gliding his fingertips lightly from my collarbone, over my breasts, teasing my nipples, down to my waist, sending a tickling thrill of desire through my system that made my toes curl. I just wanted to touch him. I ran my hands up and down the smooth skin of his powerful arms, then down the illuminated skin of his chest, and lower still, following the light trail of dark blonde down to the hard bulge in his jeans, then cupped him in my hand, rubbing it gently. He leaned back down over me, rubbing his cheek in the nook of my neck, and inhaled deeply. He looked up and moved his hand under my chin, angling my face up to his. His eyes blazed a crystalline blue and shone like stars, relaying the depth of his desire for me, as I thought no words could. His lips parted, and I saw his fangs were extended. And then he spoke.

"My lover," he said in a hoarse voice that sent my body shivering with the sweetest chill I'd ever known.

He removed my shirt with ease, and then leaned down and severed my bra with his teeth between my breasts, throwing the now defunct bra to the floor as he continued kissing that sensitive area of my skin. After a few splendid moments, he raised his mouth to mine and his talented tongue sent me spinning. I reached down, undoing his belt and jeans, and slid my hand under his boxers and down lower. I began stroking him in time with the rhythm of our lips. We were both throbbing with want. Our tangle of lips, tongue, and skin created an unmistakable urge for me to rip the rest of our clothes off and let him inside me.

Was I really going to cross that line with the real Eric? Although I'd known his body before and he'd known mine, that was a different Eric, Eric with amnesia. An Eric without politics and war, who wanted to stay with me forever. Eric without Selah—oh, I could hardly think it. Eric like he never would be again.

The man now busy coaxing every part of me into a frenzy was a renowned self-serving opportunist. I knew better than to have any expectations from men, and Eric was no exception. So, although what I really wanted was someone who could tell me they'd stay with me and mean it—and I didn't think the man now running his hands down my stomach was that man—I batted away the thought and gave in to the will of my body and my loneliness. I checked my heart at the door and decided that even though he would be gone by sunrise and probably not see me, I would allow myself this luxury with this beautiful man for a single night of ecstasy, if only to forget all the horrible things around me. A part of me felt dirty, like the "other woman," because maybe I was. But I was willing to be just as self-serving as Eric, just to give my mind a night of peace and my body a night of pleasure. _It's just sex_, I told myself. It's not like being prudent ever got me anywhere. And I am ashamed to say it, but it felt so good to be wanted, even if I knew it was for the wrong reasons.

And suddenly he broke away.

"Sookie," he said hoarsely, lifting his body up a crucial few inches. "Why are you doing this?" he asked unexpectedly.

Buzz kill. I needed to get us back in The Moment.

"Does it matter?" I asked and moved in to touch his lips again with mine.

"I want to know," he said skeptically, after a pause.

I was in a small panic lying there. My mind scrambled. I knew what the culprit was—the stupid blood bond. He had sensed my inner conflict. Now he was thinking if we did this I'd expect him to be my man. He knew all the promises he'd made to me, and now he thought I felt like he owed me something. I wasn't asking for any of that, but I needed tonight. I needed to be with him. I needed to pretend. He didn't need to know a thing.

"Look, Eric, I promise, no strings attached," I insisted. "I'm on your terms tonight. It's a free pass," I said, trying to sound flirty. But in that moment I felt like a phony.

And justlikethat, he was sitting up straight and on the end of the bed.

"So this is how you view me," he said very slowly, sounding offended.

"No, Eric, that's not what I meant at all," I stammered finally.

"Then what did you mean, my lover?" It was his turn to be sarcastic. "You forget, I know what you are really feeling," he said, peering at me through blue slits.

Now I was lost because I wasn't even sure what I was really feeling—I was tempted to ask _him_. But what I did know was this: I was lying half naked in my bed—ready and raring to go—and he wanted a reason, which I didn't really have. Eric had quite blatantly told me he didn't care why I yielded to him, as long as I did. Now that I had yielded, _he_ was asking questions. And his insensitivity on the matter had me rattled, too. But he was used to women worshipping at the altar of Eric. Did he want me to be more grateful?

"Eric, I just thought we could enjoy each other for a while," I said sincerely. "I appreciate your doing this for me, that's all."

I was expecting him to relax and pick back up where we'd left off, but he didn't. In fact he did quite the opposite. He began to stand up and picked his shirt up off the floor.

"Eric, what are you doing?" I asked, with a little shake in my voice.

"I am leaving," he growled.

Well, I figured he would leave me eventually, but I was expecting that part to come _after_ the night of blissful sex, not before. I'd held it in as long as I could, but I was at my breaking point.

"You in a hurry to get back to Selah?" I asked sarcastically.

"_Selah_? _Bill's_ Selah? My _attorney_ Selah?" He looked at me intensely. "Sookie, you don't know what you are talking about." He was angry but I could feel he was telling the truth.

"Well, what—" I stammered out, but he cut me off.

"But if you are still feeling lonely, you can always call Bill. I know he was here last night. I can smell him in your bed. I'm sure he would be more than happy to oblige you as a bedmate tonight," he said condescendingly.

And suddenly I remembered all the reasons to not get involved with Eric romantically. But jealousy was a new one, even for him.

"For your information, buddy, I did _not_ sleep with Bill last night. My brother died last night. _Died_. And _he_ was here with me, not you. You're both rotten in my book, but at least he had the decency to come when I needed someone. Unlike you, who dropped off the face of the Earth and couldn't care less how my life was going. You weren't here for me. You go around acting all superior when you're just as bad as the rest of them. You called me and said it wasn't right for Quinn to disappear on me, and then you turned around and did the same thing! So if you're looking to judge someone here, judge yourself. I'm done with all of you. I am not some loose woman that has men hopping in and out of her bed, so don't you dare talk to me like one." It felt good to rant a little.

"So your taste has improved? That explains your choice in bed companion the night of Christmas Eve," he said with his accent very pronounced.

I knew he could hear my heart pounding out of control from where he stood. While I was defending my honor as a virtuous woman, it was the one nagging mistake I'd hidden away in the back corner of my mind. The man I'd found stranded in my woods and taken in. Just like I did with him. I was too mortified at the moment to wonder how he knew, but it was clear he did. I had no defense, but I didn't think I needed to defend myself to a man who wasn't _my_ man. Granted, I'd started this with my own misguided jealousy, so I guess neither of us had the right, but that just made me angrier. He'd made no proclamations to me, and I wasn't his, nor did he want me to be. He remembered _everything _now,the intimacy, the companionship, and he knew what we did have and, maybe, could have again. And he didn't pursue it.

"Get out," I choked, in a broken voice barely audible to my own ears.

He didn't move, and I felt the air thicken in the room as we waited in a tense silence. His jaw was tight and his mouth a firm line as he looked down at his bare feet. I guess he'd slid them off in the heat of our moment, but seeing him standing there with his chest bare, he looked exactly like he did the night I found him on Hummingbird Road—that lost man whom I trusted and cared for. He stood there for a while without saying a word, and then he looked up at me.

Our blood bond connection was overwhelmed with a hundred different emotions at once, so it was impossible to wade through the muddied waters of our emotional swamp to know for sure what he was really feeling. But underneath the intense confusion between us was an undercurrent of something very acute coming directly from him. And it knocked the wind out of me. Eric was hurting.

All this was racing through my mind as I watched him fling his shirt over his shoulder, quickly slide on his shoes and walk out of my bedroom. I remained paralyzed, sitting in my bed, as I heard his hard footsteps on the stairs. When I heard the front door open, it made me snap back into the present. I knew we'd both made mistakes but I couldn't let him go like this. With no idea what I was going to do or say, I went after him.

I was halfway down the stairs when I saw him standing still in the doorway with his back to me, holding the door wide open. I thought maybe he'd changed his mind, but before I moved a step farther, I caught sight of some movement coming out of my woods. In an instant two figures zipped across my yard, too quickly for my eye to follow, and were now standing at the threshold.

It was Bill and Bubba, and they both looked very alert.

"Come in," said Eric in a commanding tone, and they entered.

"I need you to continue your protection of the woman in my absence," he said quickly. He couldn't even call me by my name. "Can you do this?"

Well, now, _that_ was really weird. Eric doesn't ask, he orders.

"Of course," Bill snapped quickly in a tone that implied that was the stupidest question he'd ever heard in his life. Bubba just nodded.

During the three-second exchange, I picked up that Bill was meticulously taking in Eric, who was standing in front of him. I suddenly registered that not only was Eric still shirtless, but his jeans were still completely undone and now partly hanging on his hips to expose the chiseled muscles that ran along his hipbones, as well as a few inches of the boxers. At the same time Bill looked up the darkened stairway to where I was now standing—looking distraught with my arms clasped to cover my naked breasts. He glanced at me long enough for me to see his eyes had flared wide and his fangs had slid out.

And then Bill lunged for Eric.


	9. Chapter 9

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampires series or any of the characters featured. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

"_Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."_

**Charlie Brown**

I had notes on the last chapter but I deleted them because I didn't want them to distract from the chapter. But I wanted to show my appreciation for all of you who are following my story and reading it now. Your feedback inspires me and I could not be happier that your enjoying it. Thank you for that. :)

Citizen

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It happened too fast for me to get a cohesive word out, but I managed a blood-curdling scream the instant I realized what was happening. The only thought that popped in my head was that they were going to kill each other.

I leapt from my place on the stairs, boobs exposed and all, down to the chaos in front of me that looked more like a mini-twister than a fight. I wanted Bubba to help me break them apart, because I would surely get killed jumping in the middle of this alone, but he stood by and watched with trepidation and curiosity. I didn't blame him—it was like watching a helicopter crash into a daycare.

Only seconds passed, although it felt like a lifetime, when there was a fierce snarling noise and suddenly something big was flung from the melee and slammed into the far wall of my living room, cracking the drywall. It slid to the floor in a lumpy mass, and I saw the crumpled pile was actually Bill.

I ran past Bubba, who was now looking very excited, and over to Bill, before he'd fully regained himself. I leaned over him to assess the damage. His clothed were shredded and his chest was heaving in rage. He had several bite marks and slashes on his arms, and a pretty gruesome bite on his neck. When his eyes refocused, he looked up at me with a look of frustration and leapt to his feet with renewed determination.

"Don't even think about it!" I snapped, as I pushed my hand into his chest.

"Sookie, get out of the way," he said coldly as he smoothed his hair back.

"Over my dead body," I said, as he pressed forward and began to move my hands from his chest. I was shaking like a leaf on the inside. "I won't move. This is my house. You two aren't going to kill each other in my living room," I said in my firmest voice. I couldn't afford to waffle in this situation.

"Let him come," Eric's deep voice boomed, but sounded strangely calm.

I looked back at Eric in astonishment. He was in full Viking battle mode and looked absolutely lethal. His brows were lowered and his teeth where clenched, exposing a full set of teeth and a pair of very scary fangs that had red stains on the tips. He stood with his arms by his sides, his bare chest exposed—every muscle in his body tight and defined with readiness. He had a nasty bite on his forearm that was already healing and a few minor scratches on his chest. But other than that, not a hair was out of place. I gotta say, my inner cave woman was impressed. But this was feeling more like an intermission than an ending. I knew I couldn't physically stop them, so I needed to diffuse this before someone got killed.

"Bill, there was no reason to attack Eric. He didn't do anything untoward to me." I paused as he looked skeptically down at my breasts. "And actually, I'm the one who made an uninvited move on him, and he turned me down flat," I said, still in disbelief.

Bill looked at me like I'd turned into a clucking chicken.

"She speaks the truth. But if you wish to continue, that is fine with me," Eric said as an eager smile spread across his face.

"No!" I snapped quickly, "No, there'll be no round two. Now, Bill, I think you need to apologize to Eric for jumping him for no good reason," I said, feeling ridiculous about it. "And you both owe me an apology for damaging my house," I said sternly.

Bill gave me that clucking chicken look again, followed by a long silence.

"Sorry for disrupting your household, Sookie," Bill said in a low voice.

He edited out the apology to Eric, but I rolled with it. I looked to Eric, indicating it was his turn.

"I apologize that Bill lost his temper in your home unnecessarily," Eric said.

"I accept," I said to both of them, knowing that was the best I was going get out of these two, but mostly relieved by the progress we'd made.

So, there we were. I was stuck standing in an awkward silence, half naked, with two vampires I've slept with in my living room. Gosh, this night was going swell.

"I'll take my leave," Eric said, still sounding angry. "Just do your job," he snapped at Bill as headed out the door.

"You don't tell me what to do anymore, or did you forget?" Bill said coolly with a pleased look. "And if you ever _do_ touch Sookie without her permission, I'll kill you," and his face went very dark.

Eric stopped in his tracks and gave Bill an equally dark look. He opened his mouth to say something, but didn't. Instead he turned his blue eyes to me, and I thought I'd melt right there. And then his face turned to stone.

"She is all yours, farmer," he said and walked out the door.

I wanted to call him a jerk and punch him in the jaw, but I knew we needed to talk. This was a bad place to leave off, and I'd had enough of bad places. I'd made a vow to myself never to leave things on a bad note since what happened with Jason. I'd learned the hard way that life was too short. I hurried to the door and called his name. He didn't turn around. I watched him as he strode right past his car, out into the grassy clearing of my woods, and then suddenly he jetted into the sky in a blur. It startled me because I always forget that he can fly. I watched him as he disappeared into the skyline.

Bubba was standing just inside the doorway looking very confused, and Bill was where I'd left him in front of my broken wall. I was wondering what the estimate would be for the repair, when I saw—in addition to my newly cracked drywall—a few of my gran's porcelain collectibles had fallen off the mantle and were now broken on the floor. She'd spent years collecting those. I didn't need this drama tonight.

"Bill, help me clean up your mess."

"Sookie, you got any blood?" Bubba spoke for the first time in his Memphis twang. Bill was looking like he could use a drink, too.

"It's in the fridge. You are welcome to help yourselves." I didn't care about good hostess etiquette at the moment. Firstly, I was mentally exhausted. Secondly, they were both checking out my mammaries, which was bad manners, so I figured I didn't owe them any hospitality.

"But first, you clean," I said to Bill, giving him a cold look.

I got one of the old blankets from the linen closet and wrapped it around myself, before I went to the broom closet and got my dustpan and sweeper. Bill met me back at the mess with a trashcan.

"He really didn't make a move on you?" he asked skeptically.

"Bill, I was born at night, but it wasn't last night. You're trying to find out if I'm covering for him. But the honest truth is—I hit on him, not the other way around. If you're digging for the details, give up. I don't kiss and tell."

"So he really turned you down," he said in wonderment, like I was trying to convince him Eric wasn't a vampire.

"Oh, be quite and hold the can still," I said as I dumped broken glass into it. I guess my ego was a little bruised.

"Well, looks like I'm late for the party," Amelia announced.

I turned my head back and she was standing inside the doorway holding hands with Tray. She was wearing a Merlotte's shirt and black slacks because she'd covered for me tonight.

"Yeah, it was a real blowout," I said unenthusiastically. "Hey, Tray."

"Hey, Sookie," Tray said. "Your heater broke? I got a guy who can fix it for cheap if you like."

"What? Oh. No the heater's fine, I just really like this blanket," I lied, avoiding having to explain why I was mostly nude underneath it. "But if you know a drywall guy I'd like his number."

"I've got just the man," he said.

"Sookie, can we talk to you for a sec? Tray's got some news," Amelia cut in. That didn't sound good.

I swaddled myself tightly in my makeshift robe before standing and handed Bill the sweeper. We headed to the kitchen and sat down at the table. Bubba was staring at the microwave like it was trigonometry.

"It's the one that says 'Start'," I said to Bubba.

"Oh. Thank ya, thank ya very much," he said automatically, and all three of us looked up at him in bemusement. He looked uncomfortable under our gazes and began pushing away at more buttons.

"Where's the sheriff?" Amelia asked as she craned her neck around. She'd seen his flashy coochie-getter excuse for a car still parked outside.

"Don't ask," I said with a sigh as I watched Bubba put his TrueBlood on the popcorn setting. "What's going on, Tray?" I redirected my attention to them.

"Sorry about all this, Sookie," he said in the softest tone his gruff voice would allow.

"Thank you," I replied sincerely. They sat there a moment, not speaking until Amelia gently elbowed him to go on.

"Mel was attacked tonight," Tray said as he leaned in closer.

"When? Where? Is he okay?" I asked urgently.

"He'll be alright, he managed to run off before much damage was done, more like a bad scrape really. It was just a few hours ago in the woods," he replied.

"What happened?"

"He was out by Jason's house with Calvin and Crystals' sister, but he split from the pack. He's a big boy so they figured he'd be alright alone, but something snuck up on him out of nowhere. He said he didn't even sense the thing coming up on him. The claw mark is huge and real deep, but we still don't know what to make of it," he said with a bewildered look.

"I was just there with Claudine," I said slowly. And it dawned on me, the snarling sound outside—the huge panther flanking Calvin: Mel. They looked at each other and then back at me.

"Sookie, you shouldn't be out chasing leads right now. Not until we figure this out," Tray said.

"But doesn't this mean the attacker is targeting shifters? I mean, first Jason, now Mel?" Amelia said inquiringly.

"Could be. But it's not safe for either of you until we know for sure," he said with resolve.

"It could have followed me there," I said. That would explain why Eric was so upset about my leaving the house at night with Claudine. I didn't want to get into my great-grandfather's fairy war with Tray present, but it was a small relief to think that maybe Niall wasn't the cause of Jason's murder.

"It wasn't here," Bill said suddenly. I looked up and saw him step forward into the kitchen with the wastebasket in hand. Eavesdropper.

"No one's been here on our watch," he said, nodding towards Bubba. Amelia pursed her lips and looked curiously back and forth at the vampires.

"Well then it's possible it really is just after Weres," Amelia said conclusively. I could see in her head that this was wishful thinking on her part, but it did make sense.

"I hope you're right," I said, "Jason's room was ransacked, so maybe they were looking for something"

"What do you mean?" Bill asked.

"I mean it was trashed. Clobbered. Hit by a baby tornado," I said frankly.

"Hmm, interesting," Amelia said, as the wheels turned in her mind, "If I can get some other witches together, would you be interested in doing a reconstruction?"

"Oh, Amelia, that would be great!" I said grasping onto this tiny ray of hope, "We'll have to do it right away, before the police get a hold of it, like tomorrow. Can you find people on this short notice?" I asked optimistically.

"I'll work on it," she said proudly. She was already sorting through her mental Rolodex.

"Well, it's late and it looks like you've got bodyguards for the evening, so Tray and I are going to go back to his place." She looked up at him and gave him a sultry smile, "Unless you want me to stay here tonight?" she asked me with concern.

"I'll be fine," I said giving her a watery smile.

We all said our goodbyes, and Amelia and Tray headed out. But I still had the issue of my other guests, who were looking quite at home in my kitchen with their bottles of blood.

"Listen up," I said, as I rubbed the back of my hand against my forehead, "After you finish your drinks, you both need to leave. Now, I'm not rescinding your invites, but I would like you to get out when you're done. And don't forget to rinse out the bottles. I'm going to bed." I figured it was a bad idea to ban them from the house with a murderer on the loose.

"Good night to you both," I said as I went up the stairs.

"G'night Sookie," said Bubba.

Bill said nothing.

I went straight to my bed. I was too worn out to think, so I dropped my blanket and took off whatever clothes I had left on—tossing them on the floor—and got into bed without putting on pajamas. I was restless and lay in bed without any success of falling asleep. It goes without saying I had a lot on my mind, but I really needed to recharge.

An hour or two of tossing and turning had surely passed, when I heard a tap on my bedroom door. An attacker wouldn't knock, so I had a guess of who it might be. Eric had come to his senses and decided to talk to me. I quickly sat up—making sure to cover myself with the blanket—and took a deep breath.

"Come in," I said.

Even in the pitch black I could see it was Bill. Sigh. My life was turning into a bad joke. He walked in and made himself at home again on the edge of my bed.

"What do you want, Bill?" I was only a little irritated.

"Are you Eric's now?" Well I had to give him points for cutting to the chase.

"The day my love life becomes your business again, I'll give you a call. Sound good?" Just a teeny, tiny, bit of sarcasm there. I didn't like being so touchy around him, but that was just the effect he had on me.

"Do you want to be his?" He pressed on.

"No, you snoop. I don't want to be anyone's. I am my own person, not a possession. I should probably tell you that most women feel the same way. The sooner you figure that out, the better off you'll be."

He nodded and it looked like it was sinking in for once, but I really didn't care how he took my advice. I was just about to kick him out when I thought of a way he could make himself useful.

"Hey, why did you tell Eric he can't tell you what to do anymore?"

"Because he can't," he said in a voice so cool it would make an ice cube jealous.

"I think he can, actually. Sheriff trumps investigator. You told me yourself."

"He didn't tell you," he said, with a smile creeping across his lips. Bill never smiles.

"Tell me what?" I was thinking I should get a T-shirt made with that printed on it. I asked that question more than I said my own name.

"Eric's not sheriff anymore." And I swear Bill almost laughed.

"What? What happened?" Too many weird things happening, this must be opposite day.

"Can't say for sure," he said with the smile all gone. "Eric and Felipe are very much alike. I think they rubbed each other the wrong way. And from what I've heard, Victor was not a big fan of Eric anyways."

"When did this happen?"

"This past week," Bill said smoothly. I was too stunned to speak. I had that sinking feeling that so rarely happens; I was worried about Eric. But it was no good. He was mad at me. And I was mad at him, too. I think.

"I smell him in here," Bill said in disgust.

"Well, if he was in here, it's not your business. And since you started a deathmatch in my living room and abused your privilege to enter my house by sneaking up to my room in the middle of the night, I rescind your invitation." I just couldn't deal with his BS anymore.

"Sookie," he said pleadingly.

Maybe not the best idea in the middle of a war, but I'd gotten to the point where I'd almost rather be tortured by assailants than interrogated by Bill about my love life, or lack thereof. I watched him move swiftly backwards towards the door and down the stairs. I didn't lie back down until I heard the front door slam closed.

I closed my eyes and prayed that I would fall asleep. When you're alone in bed is when all the big bad things come out to play in your mind and I had lots of material. Sleep was usually my last refuge from a bad day, but no such luck tonight. I tried to think productively, but everything was a dead end. Jason was dead and I couldn't even bring him justice because at this point it was looking like there was more than one suspect. Sam was out of town, and I was letting him down by not running the bar, and going broke in the meantime. My great grandfather had a fifty-fifty chance of coming out of this war alive. Claude and Claudine will surely be upset if Jon faced any retaliation from my blurting gossip. And I still wasn't sure what all that gossip was about. But worst of all, I couldn't stop myself from listening intently for Eric's car to start in my driveway. Everything was in disarray, and I broke down again. I ended up silently crying myself to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampire Series or any of the characters featured below. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

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I woke up in a cold sweat. I was choking for air as I stared at the ceiling, trying to collect myself. I focused on the ceiling fan as it whirred overhead, making a slight squeaking noise, recycling warm air into my warm room—but I still felt cold. My nightmares were getting too vivid, and even then they didn't compare to the real thing. The image from the parking lot of Merlotte's the night before was on heavy rotation in my sleep. Now even my dreams weren't safe. I cursed the day I ever met a vampire—and for my fairy blood—because life was so much easier just being the weird waitress in town. The worst dreams I ever had then were about walking out of the bathroom at church with my skirt stuck in my hose. Now people got killed.

I shuffled my naked self to my bathroom on unsteady legs and turned the bathroom light on. I poured myself a glass of water from the tap into my plastic cup, and I must have drunk two or three cups by the time I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a pretty sad sight. And I had that nasty taste in my mouth from when you go to sleep without brushing, so I decided to wash my face and brush my teeth. Maybe my bad breath was keeping me awake.

I rinsed my teeth, hoping it would purify my mind as much as my mouth, and leaned down to spit in the sink, then I raised my head back to the mirror. I blinked just once and froze. In the reflection I saw Eric's towering figure consuming the entryway to my bathroom. His hair was tousled and he had apparently hadn't recovered a shirt from earlier, because he was without one entirely.

"So you want me to fuck you," he said.

My heart started beating out of my chest, but not from fear. Let me tell you exactly what ran through my mind at that very moment: _Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. _But as well thought out and eloquent as this argument was, something deep inside me that I couldn't ignore said:

"Yes."

He moved until he was standing right behind me. I felt his chest against my back and then he leaned into me, pressing my thighs against the cold porcelain sink. I watched him in the mirror as he pushed my hair over one shoulder and ran his finger down my neck, inspiring a shiver, and he leaned down and kissed my neck lightly.

"You are sure," he whispered.

"Yes."

He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me onto my tiptoes and then began massaging my breasts. I reached one arm back, around his neck, and ran my fingers under his hair. We kept direct eye contact in the mirror as he kissed my shoulder and slid one hand down my stomach—then lower—and began to touch me. His fingers were amazingly talented, and it didn't take long before I was moaning with pleasure. His hands danced in the most incredible way, teasing my body. I didn't even realize how hard I was grasping his neck, until he slid his fingers out of me and began to undo his pants, pushing them and the boxers down. I felt his manhood touch the small of my back, though he wasn't even close. I thought at any second I'd start panting like a dog. He grabbed my waist and hiked me up, positioning himself to enter. He teased me with it for a while, rubbing it against me over and over, and I was sure I'd pass out when he said "Is this what you want?"

"Yes."

I was so ready, but when he finally pushed, I almost collapsed. My hands flew up against the wall on either side of the mirror and I gasped. He pumped again, and I shut my eyes tight.

"Look at me, lover," he said in a sweet caress.

I opened my eyes and saw him behind me in the mirror as he continued kissing my neck and started pumping very slowly with his hands gripping my waist. I gasped with every movement and found I couldn't look away. When the shock of it subsided, I discovered the pleasure was incredible. My body tingled everywhere, and I felt like the air around us was snapping with electricity. I knew he felt it too when he closed his eyes and threw his head back, letting out such a deep vibrating groan I thought his throat would give. He let one hand travel back up to my breast and crushed his body against mine and began really thrusting with a force that knocked everything off the sink onto the floor and made my teeth chatter. I was gasping like a drowning woman but felt totally weightless as tremors of ecstasy rolled through me. The sensation was intensifying, carrying me away like I was slipping out to sea. He let out a deep satisfied moan, and in the next delicious moment we were climaxing together. The high was indescribable. His body quaked inside me, and it rippled in me with a pleasure I didn't think my body was capable of. I felt something thrilling and primal: pulsating drums, violent war cries, hearts beating, pulses throbbing, like Eric's blood was coursing through my very own veins. It was like our bodies had melded into one, and I realized in a way they had. The blood bond was sending our pleasure back and forth, sending and returning and sharing it simultaneously. I was totally breathless as this magic took me out of my body and into the most shatteringly splendid orgasm I'd ever known.

And then something very strange began to happen.

I began throbbing all over with a desire I didn't recognize—my spine shot up like steel, my mouth flooded with saliva that tasted like liquid mercury, the craving made my body lurch with a mania of sheer excitement. My eyes snapped open, and I saw the old bathroom light fixture flickering overhead. I was frightened, my heart and mind were racing like I was chasing something madly, in the dark with no idea what I was after, but I _wanted_ it, I didn't understand…

Then Eric sank his teeth in me.

And the relief was incredible, that of a man lost in the desert for days—with no water—that now had that first divine drink. I felt like I was born that moment, and I realized I was feeling his thirst. The bloodlust slaked instantly, and then he pulled from me, I felt his lips on my skin, hot like a branding iron, and as his mouth pulled, I felt it quenching more than one thirst. He began moving inside me again at a euphoria-inducing pace. His hands slid down down to my waist, steadying me, as he pounded in to me, over and over, and—God help me—we climaxed together. All. Over. Again.

When it was over, he stayed in me a while, as the little aftershocks flowed between us. It was several minutes after that when he finally pulled out. I felt like I'd been unplugged from the socket. I slumped over the sink with my hands still supporting me, gasping for air. I was disoriented for a while, and I didn't try to move because I didn't think my legs—that now felt like Jell-O could—so I just stared into the sink like it was a piece of fine art.

When I thought I was able to support myself on my rubbery legs, I looked up. Eric was gone. I just stayed there a while. I stumbled once on the trek back to bed, but once I got under the covers I was out like a light.

And that dream played over and over in my mind, until I woke the next morning.


	11. Chapter 11

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampire Series or any of the characters featured below. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

"When the rain washes you clean... you'll know"

_Stevie Nicks  
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When I awoke the next morning, I was still aroused. I blinked a few times, adjusting myself to the blinding daylight, and then squeezed my eyes shut, smothering my face with the pillow. I tried to recover the dream, but to no avail. I sighed heavily and reluctantly climbed out of bed, making my way to the bathroom and turning the shower on cold. I shuddered as I drew back the curtain and readied myself. I hated cold water, but for the first time in my life, I welcomed it.

When I was toweling myself off, I saw everything was still in its place on the sink. No remnants of my mind-blowing sexual fantasy with Eric existed. While I was brushing my teeth at the sink, I just kept staring in the doorway. I rinsed my teeth four times, each time raising my head back to the spot where he'd been in my dreams. It was broad daylight so it was a stupid thing to do, but I couldn't stop myself. I mentally slapped myself for my ridiculousness and went about my morning ritual, blocking the image from my mind. I blow-dried my hair and put on my fluffy blue robe and then headed downstairs for a very stiff cup of coffee.

"Hey sleepyhead," Amelia greeted me, as I shuffled into the kitchen from where she sat at the table in front of a bowl of macaroni and cheese.

"Morning," I said numbly.

"Well, it's not exactly morning anymore," she said with her eyes darting to the microwave.

I followed her gaze to the digital clock on the microwave screen. It was two o'clock in the afternoon. I just shook my head at my new tardy streak and poured myself a cup of coffee that had to have been hours old, and joined her at the table.

"Did you get a hold of any witches?" I asked, taking a sip of my lukewarm bitter coffee.

"Yeah, one," she said, sounding frustrated, "I called Octavia, but she can't make it back that soon. So I called Bob," she said with false nonchalance.

"You called _Bob_?" I said in disbelief and nearly dropped my mug.

"Yeah, yeah, I called Bob," she said as she waved her hand dismissively, "I called about fourteen other people first, but he was the only one who could get here this quickly. Trust me, it was a last resort, and he wouldn't have agreed to it if it wasn't for you."

"Thanks," I said genuinely. They didn't leave off on the best terms, so I knew that was a big stretch for her to do. "And thanks for covering for me at Merlotte's last night."

"No problem, "she said with a smile, "Would you like me to again today?" she asked, as she shoveled a forkful of cheesy noodles into her mouth.

"No, I need to go in," I said tiredly. "My petty cash is getting a little low, and people will get suspicious if I miss two days in a row." Both of which were true, neither of which I liked.

"Alright," she said, momentarily knitting her brows together in concern and then relaxing. "I gotta take off. Tray's picking me up any minute now for ride on his Harley and I need to do some last minute primping," she said cheerfully. And when she stood from her chair, my mouth gaped open. Normally she was an L.L. Bean kind of girl, but not today. Today she was wearing ripped micro mini daisy-dukes, calf-high snakeskin cowboy boots and one of the really tight shirts you get from the mall with an ironic statement (that I almost never understood) on the front. It looked all the more outlandish with her thin pale limbs and her suburban mom haircut.

"Broadway, what the heck are you wearing?" I said, as I began to giggle. She took a spin for me to get a three-hundred-and-sixty degree view of her getup. "And what the heck does your shirt say? What's a fizzy wibble?" I asked, and she grinned from ear to ear.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she said, still beaming like the Cheshire Cat. And then an image flashed in her mind of her and Tray in bed doing what I could only surmise to be a "fizzy wibble."

"Holy mackerel," I said, astonished and a little impressed.

"Oh yeah," she said and started laughing.

"Well, I was gonna have some mac and cheese, but I think my appetite is gone now," I said, eyeing her bowl with distaste.

"Oh, lighten up, Sookie," she said chidingly, as she grabbed her bowl and rinsed it in the sink.

Just then my mind tickled just a little bit, like a feather brushed my temporal lobe. I sat still for a moment trying to pick up the source of the disturbance, then I heard a car door slam out front.

"That must be Tray," Amelia said, placing her bowl in the drying rack. "Later Sook," she said and practically skipped her way to the front door. I sat very still in my chair, trying to tune in to the outside. Amelia had said Tray was coming on his motorcycle, not a car, and I was feeling more than one presence. I heard her swing the front door open wide at the exact same time I registered exactly who was in my driveway.

"Oh, shit," we both blurted out loud simultaneously.

She must have heard me, too, because she didn't beckon me to come see our visitors. I raised myself from my chair very slowly and headed to the front of the house to join Amelia. She stood in the opened doorway, vibrating with anger. There was a small head behind the wheel of a brand new silver BMW, parked in the driveway right behind Eric's red corvette, and a man standing at Eric's driver-side door fumbling with a ring of keys and key fobs. I started to walk towards the car, and Amelia grabbed my arm. I spun around and she gave me a look of warning, but I returned her look with one that had to have been something close to pure evil. She recoiled back from my glare and looked more worried than ever.

"It's alright, Amelia. I can handle this," I said reassuringly.

I strode swiftly and silently in my bare feet up to the medium-height slender man that was sorting through the largest collection of keys and doodads I'd every seen on a single key ring. He was the same size as Bill, but leaner and lankier. He had the kind of perfectly spiked frosted blond hair you could only achieve from thirty minutes of strategic placement and a jar of pomade. I got right up to the side of the car, standing just inches away, when he registered my presence. He looked up at me with a wide-eyed stare, like a deer caught in headlights. He was handsome with a clean shaven face, but he had a piercing in his eyebrow and his ripped jeans and worn band T-shirt indicated this was someone who considered himself edgy. _Not Claude's usual type_ I thought to myself.

"Hi, Jon," I said abruptly, involuntarily giving him my signature grin that reeked of mental instability. He got visibly more nervous, and I started feeling a little guilty for my aggressive approach.

"You must be Sookie," he said unsteadily. "Nice to meet you." He bobbed his head in greeting. He'd thought I was gone at work for the day. He'd thought the Malibu was my roommates, but Amelia's car was actually parked out back. He'd thought the coast was clear.

Nope.

"Nice to meet you too," I said, matching his brief head bob. "How are Eric and Claude?" I asked smugly. This was definitely a loaded question, and maybe I was being unfair, but his nervousness was confirming he knew exactly what I meant. His mind was a small scramble, and I decided to cut to the chase. I wasn't after him.

"Why don't you ask your friend to get out of the car?" I asked, again with a Prozac smile. He just looked at me for several moments, and I could almost hear the beats of his heart. His mind clicked _yes, no, yes, no, yes, no_, and mostly _what the hell did I get in to?_ He really liked his job—and he was falling in love with Claude—so he decided it wasn't worth any grandstanding or bravery on his part. He turned his head back to the silver BMW with its ignition still humming—just fifteen or so feet away in my driveway.

"Selah!" he called out to the brunette bobblehead behind the wheel of the ostentatious silver car.

I stepped around him and got closer to the car for a better view. The door opened slowly, and I watched her get out of the car. She was wearing an all-black skirt suit against her orangey spray-tanned skin and more accessories than any woman should wear with a single outfit. She made her way to the front of the car slowly—with an irritated look on her face—and stopped a few feet away, sticking out one leg and crossing her arms defiantly.

"What do you want, Sookie?" she snapped. I heard the car door to the Corvette open and close behind me, then the ignition turned over. I guess Jon was taking cover.

"Good to see you, too, Selah," I said and crossed my arms as well. Her hair was about six inches longer than it was the last time I saw her—she'd gotten extensions. _To go along with her fake nails, fake boobs, and pancake makeup face_, I thought to myself. I could see in her mind she hated me—I mean hated me—but it didn't bother me, because the feeling was mutual. She was thinking that I was white trash, and she had no idea what either Bill or Eric saw in me. Especially Eric. She thought I must be some kind of lay for these men to even care about me, because I was average and uneducated. _Stupid hick_, she said to herself. Then she carelessly flipped her hair back, and I saw she was wearing an identical pair of topaz earring to the ones Bill had given me. I felt my face flush red, not because of Bill, but because that one trinket made me feel as insignificant as she was. Like I was just another fangbanger. And that pissed me off. My skin boiled, and I began fantasizing about winding my hand around her horse hair and socking her one good time in the nose or getting in my car and running her over like Sigebert and...

"Ow, freak!" she flinched and grabbed her head with both hands. "Stay the hell out of my head, psycho!" she shrieked. I was confused for a moment, but then I realized I'd been focusing my seething anger on her so intensely it must have penetrated into her mind somehow. I smiled slyly at my unintentional achievement.

"Gladly. It's a bad neighborhood in there anyway. Like the red-light district at around midnight." Take _that,_ hooker.

"Screw you, you freak," she said venomously. Then she peered up at me from underneath her hair, as she had still been cradling her head. Then she straightened up, closing her eyes and placing her index fingers on both sides of her temples. I furrowed my brow in puzzlement, but in a split second I was positively paralyzed. I was seized with flashing images: Eric and Selah on the couch in his office, Eric and Selah on his desk, Eric and Selah in the front seat of his car. I lurched forward, clutching my stomach, and I almost threw up on the spot.

"Get off my property," I hissed. She opened her eyes and smiled smugly.

"That's what you get for playing around in other people's heads," she said, sounding pleased with herself.

"Does he pay your pimp or are you still cash on the nightstand only?" I asked condescendingly, trying to mask my trembling. Her mouth gaped open, and she was truly affronted.

Good.

"If he did pay for it, it'd be worth every penny," she retorted sneeringly. I wanted to reach out and slap her, but I was raised better than that. _I'm not gonna get in a cat fight over a man_, I told myself fervently.

"You've got until I get back with my shotgun to be off my property, and don't you ever come back," I warned in a cold voice and then spun on my heels, heading for my house.

I heard her engine start and gravel crunching under wheels as they backed out. When my foot hit the first stair on my way up the porch, I heard a toot-toot and I turned around. Selah was waving her hand at me mockingly, with a smile. I looked in the Corvette and saw Jon very anxiously trying to back out, almost touching his back bumper to hers. I saw the two cars together, and it upset me more. Two fancy luxury cars that would look just perfect together in the driveway of some fancy house. I ran up the rest off the stairs and blew past Amelia upstairs to my bedroom and flopped face down on my bed. Amelia was right behind me.

"What was that about?" she asked, stunned by the interaction. She was wondering why Selah was picking up Eric's car and why I was so upset.

"He's screwing her," I said, with my face muffled by my comforter.

"What?" she shouted. I was glad I wasn't the only one who had that reaction. I started at the beginning and told her everything I knew about the situation. I told her in detail about everything that had happened the night before with his visit. It felt good to get it out. When I was done she looked around the room cluelessly, like the right thing to say to me in this situation was written somewhere on my bedroom furniture.

"But you asked him?" she said finally, reconfirming that detail of my story.

"Yes," I said exhaustedly.

"And did you believe him?" she asked cautiously.

"Yes," I said weakly.

"Well, maybe he is screwing her, but that doesn't mean he cares about her or anything. You only asked him if he was seeing her, not if he was...you know. She's just another fangbanger, and I know he cares about you more than that," she said compassionately, and then she stayed silent in contemplation for a while.

That made some sense, I guess. If she was doing some legal work for him, it was just a matter of convenience. But Selah? He knew the history of that situation quite well and that was just too low, even for him. Maybe he was trying to get me back for my Christmas exploits, but he didn't have to. I'd never felt more regret about anything in my life than about that stupid night. I just wasn't myself that night, and I don't know what I was thinking, other than of my loneliness. And then I had to mentally slap myself again for having this whole conversation in my head. If he was upset, he had no right. He hadn't stepped up to the plate or given me any indication he wanted a relationship. And I rationalized that I should stop moping about Selah because he wasn't mine either.

But for some reason I was still really, really upset.

"So, do you care about him more than that?" Amelia asked very slowly. Sometimes I thought my telepathy was rubbing off on her. That was a heavy question, and I let it settle into my consciousness for while before I attempted to answer it.

Just then the load roar of an engine revving filled the quite room.

"That's Tray, Sook," she said, and gently patted me on the back, "Be good while I'm gone. Do I need to hide the Benelli from you just in case she comes back?" she asked in amusement.

"No," I said simply, "It wouldn't be manslaughter if I shot her on my property," I said and lifted my head giving her a smile.

"Well, at least you've thought it through," she said reasonably, "But that makes me want to hide it even more," she cocked an eyebrow at me in mock suspicion.

"Go on. Go have fun with Tray. I'll see you later," I said, and the engine revved again. She hopped off the bed and bounded down the stairs.

I lay there on my stomach for a while brewing in my own self-pity. And with Amelia gone, it was certainly a full-fledged pity party. Streamers and all—if tears counted as streamers. I collected myself and changed into my work outfit for the day, still trying to sort it all out, when I thought of a way to get some answers. As soon as dark fell, I was determined to talk to Pam.


	12. Chapter 12

*disclaimer: I do not own the Southern Vampire Series or any of the characters featured below. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

I know it's a little early on in our relationship to be using the L word.........but I think I love you.

Too soon isn't it? Yeah……..this is awkward. *clears throat*

In all seriousness, I love your reviews. They make me smile, laugh, ponder, run and hide, smile some more, but most of all, they make me want to keep writing. Thank you.  PS. this is a slow but important chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

Citizen.

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I was in the bathroom getting ready for work and went to get my flower-shaped crystal studs out of my little jewelry box, when I noticed the topaz earrings next to them. I'd seen them there, resting on the black velvet lining, hundreds of times before, but today it was like they were glaring at me. I picked them up, bouncing them in my palm a few times, and then gripped them tightly as I strode to my bedroom window. I thrust it open and dangled my fisted hand out the window, ready to send the earrings on a two-story freefall. I reconsidered briefly and thought about pawning them. Surely they would fetch a decent price, and my current financial predicament was not good. Nah_,_ I said to myself, and I unclenched my fist and released the earrings to the mercy of gravity. I didn't need any amount of money that badly.

It was freeing to watch the glittering trinkets sparkle in the sunlight on their descent to their grassy grave below.

I felt inspired as I sifted through my lingerie drawer for the last brassiere I had left from Bill. He'd given me many, but these lacy things didn't stand up well in the wash, so this was the only survivor of the bunch. I grabbed a book of Merlotte's matches I kept around for emergencies out of my top drawer and headed to the bathroom. The smell of sulfur wafted towards me as I struck the match and ignited it. I dangled the lacy black garment above the sink and watched as the flames licked their way up the thin fabric until it almost reached my pinched fingertips, and then I dropped it into the porcelain basin. I watched it burn until all that was left was a charred underwire. I felt very satisfied with the blackened remnant, as I tossed it in the wastebasket. It was ironic that my assertion of independence from the ghosts of relationships past was literally my burning my bra, but it was liberating nonetheless.

I finished getting dressed in my standard Merlotte's uniform and headed down the stairs to the kitchen, grimacing as I walked through my living room and noticed for the first time today the hole still in my drywall. Maybe I had been hoping the drywall fairy could have come during the night and put my house to rights.

I saw my answering machine blinking as I grabbed a soda from the fridge, so I checked my messages. The first one was from Calvin:

"Hey_,_ Sookie, it's Calvin." Gosh, he sounded so tired. "I wanted to call and check up on you. I saw you out last night_,_ and I don't think that's such a good idea...it's not safe right now. I spoke to Tray this morning_,_ and we're working a few things. Give me a call when you get the chance."

I hit the delete button and continued. The next was from Sam:

"Sookie, It's Sam..." His voice rang with concern and urgency. "Why aren't you answering? Call me to let me know you're okay...I miss you."

I returned Sam's call first, but he didn't answer so I left him a voicemail.

Next, I called Calvin and he picked up right away.

"Hey, Calvin," I greeted when he answered.

"Hi, Sookie," he said sounding worn out. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," I replied. "I heard about Mel. How is he?"

"He'll be just fine. Just needs a little better rest and antibiotics," he replied.

"I'm glad to hear it. Did he say anything else about the attack? Did he remember anything else?" I asked curiously.

"No, he was caught off guard somehow," he said, sounding bewildered. "But it's got to be some sort of shifter or were. Wild animals can tell the difference between our scent and theirs. They never attack…" He drifted off and then sighed.

"Well, I'll know for sure tonight," I said assertively. I was glad I could contribute to the cause. "I'm bringing some witches out there after I get off work—to do a reconstruction."

He didn't know the term or the process, so I explained it to him as best I could. He seemed impressed.

"That sounds good, Sookie. We are fresh out of ideas right now so we'll need every resource you can pull," he said, sounding a little more upbeat, "Call me when you're ready. We'll meet you out there for safety."

I thanked him and we said our goodbyes before we hung up.

In the midst of all this I almost forgot the call on the top of my list. I decided to call Fangtasia to leave a message for Pam for when she got up. It rang a few times and someone finally picked up.

"Fangtasia, Elvira speaking."

"Hi, this is Sookie Stackhouse, I want to leave a message for Pam," I said politely. "Please inform her I need to speak with her right away."

"No problem," she said quickly. Too quickly, actually. And I didn't hear her scribbling any notes down for my message.

"Can you make sure she gets the message right away? It's very important," I said, in my sweetest voice. This was one of those situations in life that you can't win for losing. Like when the waiter is terrible and you complain, all he does is spit in your soup. I know, I work at a bar for a living. Spit happens. "And I would greatly appreciate it," I finished in my most humble voice.

"Don't worry, I'll get to her," she said in a tone I wasn't expecting: smug. Before I could say thanks, she hung up. I made a mental note to mention her unprofessionalism to Pam or Eric. When they finally decided to call me back, that is.

As I was locking the house up, I heard a vehicle crunching gravel on its way up my driveway. I almost thought Selah was back and went back in to get my gun, but when I turned I saw it was a big white truck. I walked towards the vehicle once it parked and saw the words Lowe's written on the side of the U-Haul sized truck. My heart fluttered just a little at the sight.

"Are you Ms. Stackhouse?" asked the gruff-looking man that jumped out of the cab.

"I am," I relied, feeling a little chipper.

"We were sent to take care of your drywall crack," he said.

"Exactly who is it that sent you?" I inquired in a voice that was far too bubbly to be solely wondering about drywall. I had a guess.

"Let me see," he said as he began reading the top sheet of his clipboard, "It doesn't say who exactly, but the billing address for the card is somewhere in Shreveport. A place called Fangtasia." I think I let out a small yip at his statement before I could contain it.

"Did they send a note?" I asked, unsuccessfully veiling my enthusiasm.

"No," he said as he flipped through pages, "No, I'm sorry, no note," he said, feeling bad about disappointing me. Oh, well. At least my wall would be fixed.

"That's fine," I said reassuringly. "It's right this way," I continued, as he followed me up to the porch.

I showed him and his companion the damage, and they said they could have it fixed within hours. I trustingly left them there alone to fix it, since I absolutely had to get to work—and because they worked for a reputable company. But mostly because I really wanted that wall fixed.

I got to Merlotte's for my shift only to find it was slow. There were only a few cars in the parking lot, and I recognized most of them as the vehicles of fellow employees. I walked back to Sam's office and put my things away in my drawer. I was tying on an apron when Holly walked in.

"Hey, Sookie, where you been?" she asked cheerfully. Her hair was now dyed a warm russet brown to help camouflage the difference between her formerly dyed black locks and the new growth of her natural shade. In her mid I could see she wanted to ask me if I'd seen Jason around. Hoyt was worried because he hadn't returned any of his phone calls.

"Hey, Holly," I said with a smile. "I was feeling a little under the weather is all. I like your hair by the way," I commented on my observation, hoping it would sidetrack her stream of thought.

"Thanks," she said and smiled genuinely. "I think Hoyt really likes it, too," she said rosily and tossed her head to the side, bouncing her hair as she did. My comment definitely had it's intented effect. She was glowing with happiness now thinking of Hoyt.

"I think you could dye it purple and he'd still love it," I said and winked.

"You're probably right," she said happily. "I'll see ya out there," she said, nudging her head to the front of the bar and exited the office.

I searched my purse for a ponytail holder to tie my hair back with but couldn't find one, so I ran my fingers through my semi-tangled mass of hair and headed up front. Holly calling it slow was an understatement; there were practically tumbleweeds blowing through the empty bar, and the music wasn't even playing. Sam wouldn't like this at all. I searched for Terry and found him hunched over behind the bar, fidgeting with the sink drain when I walked up. This was the first time I'd seen him since the night before last. The night Jason died, I made myself rephrase it. There was no way around it.

"How's it going, Terry?" I asked cautiously.

And I quickly found that even if I had been looking for some shortcut around that reality, Terry wasn't accommodating my delusion. As soon as he saw my face, it started again. Being near him was like watching _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_, because not only was my brother's body at the forefront of his mind upon my presence, but that image brought with it an onslaught of memories of the deaths of other men he'd witnessed during wartime. It must have triggered some suppressed memories to surface again. I winced as they invaded my mind, and I fought to put up my mental barricade between my own thoughts and the barrage of deaths now infiltrating my psyche. I'm guessing my face hinted at some internal war being waged, because Terry watched my face closely before he replied to my greeting.

"Good," he said slowly. "How are you?" he leaned in and said in almost a whisper. He thought I was cracking up.

"I'm fine, Terry," I said, wrung my hands around the edge of my apron.

Truthfully I was much more concerned about his mental welfare than my own. He seemed to be teetering on the edge of a breakdown. I looked at him with sorrowful eyes and reminded myself to have Bill glamor him. He was trustworthy and could keep the secret, but it was costing him a piece of his sanity to do it, and it wasn't his burden to bear. In the meantime, I shored up my own mental fortitude by slamming the vault shut on my "gift."

"That's good to hear, Sookie," he said in a remorseful tone, "We haven't been all that busy today," he said, scanning the tables, and my eyes followed his.

There were only two customers in tonight. I guess the novelty of patronizing a bar owned by a collie had lost its luster. Hoyt Fortenberry was sipping a glass of Sprite as he watched Holly wipe down tables, and there was a sincere look of adoration in his eyes. I felt like a voyeur when she turned her head back to him and returned his look with one of intense love. It was the middle of a dark bar, off a highway in rural Louisiana, but it seemed intimate, and my heart tugged as I watched them silently communicate their unconditional deep love for each other. I could only hope to one day have something like that for myself.

I decided to go distract myself with something much less sappy, by taking inventory of condiments and dressings in the store room. I was wrapping up the last of the restocking when Bill opened the door and entered the small storage space. The sun must have set while I was distracted with ranch dipping sauce.

"Hi Sookie," he said as he fluidly entered the room and stood beside me, staring at the jars on the shelf. I pursed my lips and turned my attention back to the honey dijon. I gave him a small nod and went about my business.

"You know Eric and Selah are sleeping together," I said casually, as I began to rotate all the labels facing outward. I know a simple "hello" would have sufficed, but that was what popped out before I could stop myself. He looked at me intently with his brows lowered, bothered by this news. He didn't speak for a while and began straightening labels right along with me.

"Like I said, Eric's hard to resist," he said in a restrained voice.

"Bill, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were upset," I said simply, "Maybe even a little jealous?" I hedged.

"No," he said quickly. "Doesn't matter to me," he continued, regaining his cool voice. "What do you think of your Viking now?" he asked with a hint of satisfaction.

"He's not my anything," I said quietly, and then he turned to me slowly and put his hand on my elbow, turning me towards him.

"We could repay them the favor," he said, sounding dark and serious. I gulped, understanding he meant that the two of us, alone in this store room, could do the same thing they were. A little two-could-play-that-game action. I imagined the look on Eric's and Selah's faces if they heard Bill and I were shaking it up, and the thought brought me some minor satisfaction. And then I cringed internally at what a terribly low and petty thing his suggestion was and admonished myself for momentarily entertaining the thought. It was something I could never participate in, especially with Bill.

"In your dreams," I said dismissively, hoping he hadn't caught anything other than utter rejection at his suggestion.

"Yes," he said frankly, "it is."

"Alright, enough," I said and rolled my eyes. "What did you come here for anyway?" I asked, as I set down a box of sugar packets.

"I wanted to apologize for ruining your house again I didn't intend to cause you any additional stress." he said.

"Its fine," I said dismssively, "Eric sent out repairmen today. It's all fixed," I said with just a teeny bit of smugness. I didn't know for _certain_ it was Eric but he seemed the only possible candidate from Fangtasia to have done something like that. And it made me feel better to think it.

"I know. They're taking it out of my next check," he said coldly. Well that took a little of the wind out of my sails. I had sort of been clinging to that gesture as a sign of a truce or some amendment to the way we left things. But it's the thought that counts, I guess.

"Who do you mean by _they_? I thought you said Eric wasn't the boss anymore," I asked in confusion.

"He didn't make the deduction, the new sheriff did," he said with a sneer. I turned my whole body towards him to face him now. In the midst of all these changes and revelations, I hadn't thought about his replacement. And then I was sad for Eric that they'd filled his position so quickly. I bet that made him feel easily replaceable—a feeling I had been introduced to by the vampire in front of me—and I knew firsthand it wasn't fun.

"Well, come on, out with it," I said impatiently, "who's the new sheriff in town?" I snickered at my little play on words.

"Pam," he said, but it came out in more of a grunt.

"Pam? _Pam?_" I asked in shock, after lifted my jaw off the floor.

"Unfortunately," he said flatly.

"Well," I said slowly with my eyebrows raised. I put my hands on my hips and scanned the bottles of sauces, realizing not only had I faced all the labels forward like little soldiers, but I had also alphabetized all of them. Blue Cheese, Honey D, Italian, Ketchup, Mustard, Ranch, Thousand Island…

"I also came because I wanted to see how you were doing," he said, cutting the silence.

"I'm doing just fine," I said, as I looked up at him, "and actually, the person who needs your help is out front. Terry's head has turned into _Nightmare on Elm Street,_ and I would be mighty grateful if you could go glamor him," I said.

"You want me to glamor him?" he said sounding surprised.

"Yes. And I promise, no speech about how immoral it is, or denying him his free will, or how it's not our right to take someone else's memories. Trust me, that man needs to forget," I said sternly. Bill raised one brow at me in curiosity and then nodded his head.

"You're changing Sookie," he said matter of factly, "I don't know if I like it."

"I'm growing up, Bill," I retorted. "And of course you wouldn't like it. I'm sure you much preferred it when I was gullible and naïve," I said, sounding irked. But he was right, I was changing, and I didn't know if it was just my growing up and life experience. I felt like my concept of right and wrong had certainly expanded. Nothing was black and white anymore—everything was shades of grey. And I had noticed my anger had become darker—my need to avenge Jason, my mental and verbal exchange with Selah—I was straying from the set of values my Gran had spent the last years of her life trying to instill in me. But then again Gran never had to deal with any of the stuff I had to. It was survival of the fittest these days.

I looked down at the unopened box of mayonnaise at me feet and realized in my frenzy of organizing and restructuring the store room, I'd completely forgotten about them. I had always disliked mayonnaise ever since the summer I spent at the lake with my parents when I ate too many turkey and mayonnaise sandwiches and got sick all over the my parents station wagon. But whether I liked it or not, it belonged on the shelf with the rest or the condiments. I couldn't neglect it or ignore it away because it had a place there. And as disgusting as it was, it completed the collection.

And then something came over me.

"Bill, I forgive you," I said, looking him directly in the eyes. He looked as taken aback as I'd ever seen him look. His face began to soften, and I realized he'd taken my sudden statement out of context.

"What I mean is—I forgive you as a friend. We'll never be more than that, but I don't hate you anymore." And as soon as the words left my lips, I felt myself smile. He looked like he couldn't decide whether this was good news or bad news, and he stayed silent for a while.

"You've made me very happy, Sookie, but I'll never give up on you," he said, and I could see in his eyes he meant it. The intensity behind them held my gaze for a few beats and then finally I broke away.

"Do what you want Bill," I said in exasperation and threw my hands in the air. I'd tried.

Bill looked down at his feet and the up to me again.

"I will respect your wishes," he said smoothly.

"Good. Thank you," I said sincerely, "Now get out of my way, I've got work to do," I said and smiled.

He left me in the store room while I finished up a few things and then headed up front. It was a ghost town tonight so I took a seat on a bar stool with my chin propped up by my hand and watched the clock tick.

_To be continued..._


	13. Chapter 13

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampires series or any of the characters featured. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

A/N: Thank you all for the clever and insightful reviews last chapter. :) We have reached a turning point of sorts. A few readers expressed anxiousness about Sookie's suitor situation and I encourage anyone who wants reassurance to read my short stories. Particularly 'Coincidence & Prophecy' , it reflects my true perspective. I don't want to make declarations here because I don't want spoil it for those who are enjoying the uncertainty. Don't worry, everything will be resolved in due time. But mostly, you're going to have to trust me....Now on to lucky chapter 13.  Citizen

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"Do ya'll mind if I head home for the night? I'm not feeling that good," Holly asked Terry and me as I sat at the bar watching Terry rinse out shot glasses. I noticed he didn't have the same worrisome creases in his forehead as earlier. Bill must have worked his magic but I didn't want to chance a peek, just in case. He looked at me and shrugged.

"If it's okay with Sookie, it's okay with me," he replied and peered up from his work. I smiled and waved my hand, shooing her to leave. She and Hoyt took off hand in hand shortly thereafter. I didn't see any point in the two of us suffering the doldrums of such a slow night.

Just then the bar phone rang, and I ran to pick it up, hoping it was the call I'd been waiting for.

"Merlotte's Bar," I said cheerfully.

"Hey Sookie," said Amelia's familiar voice. "Bob bailed. He might be able to do it tomorrow though," she said remorsefully.

"That's fine," I said with a sigh. He was doing us a favor, so I had no place to complain. We hung up, and with the phone still in my hand I decided to call Fangtasia again. A little persistence never hurt.

"Fangtasia," answered a voice I recognized instantly as Clancy's.

"Hi, it's Sookie. I need to speak with Pam," I said politely. And then on a whim I added, "Or Eric."

"They're both busy," he said curtly. "We're all busy. Tonight's not a good night. Try back some other time," he said, sounding irritated. I huffed into the phone because this felt a lot like I was being cut off.

"Fine. Let them know I called," I said shortly, and hung the phone up with more force than necessary. This night was just not going my way.

An hour or so later I was standing behind the bar when the same sandy-haired man I remembered from two nights ago glided into the room and made himself at home at a corner table. He was just as handsome as the other night, maybe more so—if it that was even possible. The kind of masculine beauty that makes you stand a little straighter and wish you'd worn more makeup. He was wearing a very similar outfit to what he'd worn last time but the slacks and top were a deep charcoal wool, instead of black. He slid into the booth seat side of the table with ease despite his tall slender figure and casually opened up a menu. When he leaned forward on his elbows, tilting the menu under the pendant light that hung above the table, I could see his fair skin was defined by angular bone structure and he had a small cleft in his chin. Doing such a benign activity like skimming a menu just made him look all the more regal.

"Dang, Sookie, I just closed up the kitchen. I didn't think we'd have anyone else in tonight," Terry said regretfully from over my shoulder, after spotting our new patron in the corner.

"I'll take care of it," I volunteered. Part of me just wanted a closer look.

As I approached the table, I dabbed at the mustard stain on my white linen apron with a damp rag and smoothed the fabric out before stuffing the rag into my pocket. When I was finally standing before his table he didn't even look up.

"Hi," I said hesitantly. "The kitchen's closed for the night. But we have drinks and cold sandwiches if you'd like," I said politely.

He raised his eyes from the menu and up to mine. I rocked back on my heels. They were stunning: pale grey with fine strokes of silver in bursts. You could see every facet of his iris sparkle, like a citrus fruit that had been sliced in half but in a smoky quartz color. They were set off even more by his sophisticated outfit and his sandy-blonde hair that feathered down, dusting his shoulders. He was a muted palette of perfection. By the time he spoke, I realized I'd been staring.

"Just a drink then," he said in a slight English accent and smiled at me pleasantly. "Do you have hot tea?"

"We do offer hot tea," I said more formally than I ordinarily would but I felt compelled to formality by this elegant man. "I'll get that for you right away."

I felt his eyes on me as I went into the kitchen to search for a tea bag. The only thing I could find was the Lipton tea we used for sweet iced tea but I assembled the drink in the nicest cup we had and placed it onto a clean tray. I even used a doily—left over from the church group party we had last week—on the tea saucer. I admired my fine presentation, as I made my way back to his table.

"Here you are," I said setting down the cup. " I didn't know what accoutrements you preferred, so I brought both milk and lemon, " I said, glad that I'd checked my word of the day calendar today. "We have a selection of sweeteners on the table there."

"Thank you," he said with a coy smile. "No sugar cubes, then?" he said in jest. But I made a mental note to order them in the off chance he ever came back.

"Well, if that's all I can get you..."

"This is perfect," he said with a charming smile that went all the way to his eyes, "You take pride in your work—that is rare." he said appreciatively, "What is your name?"

"Sookie. Sookie Stackhouse," I replied. I guess I was a little flattered I'd caught his attention. But then again, I was the only one on the bar besides Terry so my competition was slim. One way or the other, Amelia would be sorry she missed this.

"You have a beautiful name," he said slowly.

"Thank you," I said shyly and smiled a little. No one had ever called my name "beautiful" before. Lots of other things, yes, but beautiful? Not by a long shot. Sadly my first name rhymed with "Cookie" and "Nookie" so I took a lot of abuse for it growing up.

"Well, Sookie Stackhouse, would you do me the honor of joining me while I enjoy this exquisite beverage you've prepared," he said gesturing his hand to the chair opposite him.

I looked back at the bar and saw Terry through the pass-through to the kitchen, grunting away as he scrubbed out the fryer grease traps.

"Why not," I said and smiled warmly. He got up and pulled my chair out for me and scooted it back in when I was seated. Yep, this was one fancy man. Dammit, I bet he's gay. _All the classy good looking ones with manners always are._ What the hell was I thinking? Am I really putting myself back on the market? I guess I wasn't spoken for by anyone, which was depressing, so it wouldn't hurt to meet new people. My ego was still smarting a little over my rejection from Eric, so I could use a boost. And if a man this gorgeous thinks you're interesting, well, that's a compliment and a half.

"What brings you to Bon Temps?" I asked cordially, as I fiddled with the strings of my apron.

"It's a prospecting trip. I have a medical company and we are interested in relocating our plant to the area," he asked in his smooth baritone, "Do you have any recommendations for a location?" he said with a smile.

"Well, I don't have much experience in that type of thing, but I know the area pretty well," I replied. "I think there's an old warehouse available just outside of town, but don't quote me on that." This was definitely not my forte, but I was flattered he wanted my opinion. And that he thought I was smart enough to have one.

"I will certainly look into it. Thank you, Sookie Stackhouse," he said as he took a sip of his tea. I watched him carefully, and he didn't wince or spit it out, so I was happy.

"So, you are native to the area?" he asked, setting his cup down delicately.

"Yep, grew up here my whole life."

"You seem different. You are not like the rest of the locals," he said, eyeing me curiously.

"No. I guess I'm not," I replied, unsure whether that was a compliment or an insult. It reminded me of how everyone in town said I was strange. It was refreshing that he was treating me like a normal person, but now I thought maybe he'd heard about the circus sideshow waitress in town that worked at the shifter bar and came see the attraction. I decided to let my shields down and see what kind of gossip he'd heard or if I was just being paranoid.

I dropped my mental shield only to find there was nothing there. When I reached out to his mind it was like static electricity. I'd never felt anything like it. When my mind reached further into his, I felt a small sharp zap, like a mosquito getting too close to the porch light. And then a series of small fuzzy snaps. But nothing clear and distinguishable.

Nothing human.

I felt my face tense for a millisecond before I smoothed it back into the neutral posture I'd picked up in my years of telepathy, but my heart began thumping faster as all the possibilities raced through my mind. He tilted his head just a fraction with his eyes glistening under the dim light and his long fine hair fell with the angle of his head when I saw his ear. I tried to keep my eyes from widening at the sight. They weren't quite as pointed as Claudine's, but definitely had a Fairy influence. I was smacked in the face with the realization that my great-granddaddies war had just made its way to my front doorstep.

And I was too frozen to move or speak.

Just then there was a loud clatter from the kitchen and a yelp. It made me snap out of my paralysis. I spun my head around and couldn't see Terry through the pass-through anymore.

"I better get going," I said quickly, trying to disguise my panic as I lifted myself from my chair. He nodded his head in acknowledgement as he casually raised the cup to his lips and I headed to the kitchen where I found Terry clutching his hand to his chest.

"I cut it," he said as he winced from the pain. I could smell the coppery blood leaking from his wound.

"Lemme have a look at it," I said with concern. It was minor so I treated it swiftly and wrapped it with some of the contents of our first aid kit. I peeked out of the pass-thru several times as I wound the last of the gauze and observed our customer still sitting, sipping his tea, "Terry I have to go. Please stall that man and whatever you do, do not let him know I'm gone," I said firmly with my eyes pleading.

"Sure Sookie," he said, puzzled and concerned. I could see in his mind he was wondering if the man had sexually harassed me. He wanted to ask questions and go take care of it himself but something in the look on my face told him to do as I asked. _Thank God. _

When I was done, I speed walked, trying to not exaggerate the squeaking noise my rubber soles made on the tile, back to Sam's office and flung the kit onto the chair. All of my senses were suddenly very alive. I grabbed my purse and keys out of my drawer and raced out the back door, careful to not slam it closed. I reached in my purse, grabbed my phone and dialed frantically.

"Fangtasia," said a familiar and unfriendly voice.

"Clancy!" I exclaimed, as I hurriedly crunched through the gravel in my sneakers, stealing glances behind me. "Put Eric on the phone."

"Sookie?" he said after a moment, as I was digging for my keys out of my pocketbook. I reminded myself I would never again clutter my purse with some much crap. "I told you already, tonight's not a good night," he said in an annoyed tone.

"Clancy I don't have time for your shit! Put Eric on the phone!" I shrieked as I grasped again for my keys, holding the phone with my chin.

"Sure thing, Sookie," he said condescendingly and I let out a sigh of relief.

And then I heard a dial tone. He hung up on me.

"Shit!" I whispered to myself as I desperately fished one last time into my purse filled with junk, but finally coming up with my keys.

For once in my life, I was sorry I'd sent Bill away. I didn't know who else to call or whom I'd be able to get a hold of, so I focused on getting the heck out of dodge. And just as I fumbled the key into the lock and began to turn it, I heard a quite sound from behind me and I spun around.

"Oh, hi!" I said in a startled voice as my hand flew over my jumping heart. The sandy haired bar patron was now standing a few feet away, "You know it's not polite to sneak up on women in dark parking lots," I said nervously.

"I apologize, I didn't mean to startle you," he said smoothly as he stepped minutely closer, "But I need to deliver a message," he said, staring at me intently with his wide set gray eyes.

"Okay," I said slowly, confirming now that our meeting wasn't chance. I steeled myself to fight back if I had to, "What's this about?"

"It's about Niall," he said smoothly, and a look of mutual understanding spread across both of our faces. Okay, maybe I overreacted. Maybe he was an ally. I nodded slowly while contemplating whether I should stay and listen or run and scream, "Are you a friend of Niall's?" I hedged, hoping for the best.

"You could say that," he said, as his mouth crooked up in the corner deviously and he took another step closer. _No__t a friend!_ my mind screamed like a sounding alarm.

"You just stay where you are. Don't take one step closer,' I said loudly, dropping my keys into the bag and tightening my grip on my purse strings. But it was pointless, if he meant to do me harm, there was no way around it. No amount of screaming or running could save me from whatever this man was.

He whipped his head to the side and his nostrils flared a bit, and suddenly Claudine appeared with a_ pop_ just behind him. She had the most vicious look on her face I'd ever seen, and then she jumped for him with her hands curled into hooks. While she was in mid-air, he whipped his head back and lunged for me. I swung my purse hard focusing on his face as the target, missing his nose narrowly. But I saw his pupils were now totally white, like a tiny flashlight had been turned on behind them, and it was terrifying. She had landed on his back before he reached me, dragging him back a bit, and threw her arm around his neck and began twisting it.

In the fleeting seconds as I began trying to swing my purse at his head (now grateful for the heavy contents inside) I felt something begin pulling me. Pulling hard on my mind, like quicksand, I was sinking in it. I fought against it with everything I had, squeezing my eyes shut and letting out a gasp, but I continued my now in a blind assault on what I estimated to be his chest.

"Let go Sookie!" Claudine ordered. My eyes flipped open and saw she had shredded part of his shoulder off and he was screaming in pain. He was oozing a thick shimmery red colored fluid from the wound that looked more like and nail polish than blood. I dropped the purse in confusion at her command, still struggling with the suction in my mind, and backed away until I pinned myself against the car door. "Let go Sookie!" she shrieked again in a strained voice as I saw him begin flailing his body recklessly, trying to shake her off.

She wasn't talking about the purse. I realized she meant for me let go mentally, to stop fighting the thing that was relentlessly trying to pull me under. So I did.

And suddenly I was no longer in the parking lot watching a fairy mauling.

I was gone.


	14. Chapter 14

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampires series or any of the characters featured. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris. This is only partially beta-ed. I made some changes afterwards...

_"Nothing weighs on us so heavily as a secret_."

**Jean De La Fontaine**

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I found myself standing in a small clearing surrounded by thick forest.

I stood there still wracked with anxiety and looked down at myself just to make sure I was still whole and alive. I seemed fine so I began to I look around me, taking in my new surroundings with trepidation.

It was beautiful. So much so, I wasn't sure if it was even real. I thought maybe the stress had triggered a hallucination. I actually reached down and pinched myself just to check and it hurt. All that proved was _I_ was real and not that this magnificent place I was standing in was, so I peered again at the beauty around me in disbelief.

Lush greenery snaked its' way up the bark of the magnificent broad oaks that canopied overhead. The sunlight rebelliously broke through the heavily leafed branches in rays and beams. I reached down and touched the cushion of ground below me to find it was ages of moss, caking the earth like frosting. Small black birds flew from branch to branch whistling to each other in warning, like I'd interrupted their party. I felt like telling them I didn't want to be here any more than they wanted me to be. I should have been panicked or scared but the serenity of the place alleviated any anxiety I should have had. It had a presence all it's own.

I was jolted out of my calm when I suddenly heard a pop!

"Sookie!" Claudine exclaimed and ran over to me, "Thank goodness," she said hugging me tightly. She looked in good shape, certainly not like a woman who'd just been in an altercation. "Your mind is stronger than I thought," she said sounding disapproving, "Next time I say "let go", do it!"

"What's going on Claudine?" I asked with worry, hugging her back tightly. I was just so glad she was okay.

"Sookie," she said releasing our embrace and looking at me with sad eyes, "Things are very bad right now," she began shaking her head, 'We never would have thought they could have gotten that close,' she said in an apologetic tone.

"What do you mean?" I said furrowing my brow, "And where are we?" I said taking in the forest around me once more.

"Sookie, that _man_ is one of the enemies," she spat, "He is called Dermot." I exhaled deeply.

"You mean Niall's son," I said conclusively as it sank in. she nodded quickly, "And he is against _Niall_?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes. And he almost had you tonight," she said sounding frustrated, "It was _very_ close," Her eyes widened at the last statement.

"Why is Niall's own son _against_ him?" I could not fathom a reason for a man to turn against his father. I didn't make sense.

"Sookie, Dermot is with Najine. I mean, they are mates, a couple, and have been for over a hundred years now. He is resentful of his human heritage and identifies only as a fairy. Niall is more accepting and so was Fintan, so he separated himself from the family and sought out the one person who could hurt Niall the most, his enemy, Najine." It was upsetting to hear that family would be so vindictive towards one another, even supernatural family. Jason and I had our ups and downs but I would never want to hurt him like that. Claudine was looking at me very closely in silence before she continued, "Before Najine, he simply wanted to separate himself, but since they have joined, she has manipulated him. He destroyed Fintan and now he wishes to destroy Niall."

"Dermot killed Fintan," I said in shock and she nodded, "Why?" I'd never met Fintan but he was my biological grandfather so there was some kinship there.

"Rivalry, jealously…Niall was closer to Fintan. Their lives had followed a similar path. In many ways I think Dermot considered him the favored son and his disdain for humans only fueled his rage. Dermot was estranged by then, detached in his life with Najine. I think he wanted to take away any happiness they had. He just wanted to hurt them," she said mournfully.

"Cain and Able," I murmured to myself, "So what happened to Dermot?" I asked, wondering now if I'd just witnessed a killing. Not that I would feel bad about it at this point. He'd killed my great-grandfather, is actively trying to kill Niall, and damn near almost killed me.

"Oh, he's gone. I got him pretty good," she said with a small smile, "He's deeply injured so he'll have to go back to our world to heal. It'll be even more difficult for him because he's just a halfy," she said with some pride in her tone.

"Well where is Niall?" I asked wondering why he still hasn't come to me about all this war business, especially since my life is apparently in danger, "And you still haven't told me where the heck we are," I persisted.

"Niall is in our world now but it is not safe there either," she said and I saw a rising of anger in her words, "And we are standing in what you could call…a middle ground," she said finally. I stayed silent as I took in more of woods around me. Even the rocks were beautiful.

"But you were brought specifically here for a reason, Sookie," she said calmly and I brought my eyes back to hers, "There is someone you need to meet. Niall will probably kill me for this, but I don't care. It's time." She gave me a small smile and turned her body to face the center of clearing just a few yards ahead and took my hand, indicating I should turn, too.

We just stood like that for a few moments in silence. I was taking in the massive oak across the small clearing, whose roots wound down into the earth like wooden tentacles, when a single dandelion clock appeared. It blew around in spirals in front of me, whirling in an invisible breeze. But it began to grow larger and larger as I watched, and saw it was no dandelion. It became a powdery white sphere. It looked translucent until I saw a silhouette begin to form in the center. Finally when the sphere had grown larger than me, the circular glow dissipated, leaving an ethereal woman standing in the center, just a few feet in front of me. I hadn't been able to tear my eyes away from it until that moment, but I looked up at Claudine furrowing my brow in question. She looked at me and smiled broadly the nudged her chin back to the figure in front of us.

The woman's complexion seemed almost as translucent as the sphere that formerly encompassed her, although she still had a subtle illuminated essence about her. Her skin was the color of creamery milk and her hair was a long mass of wavy light strawberry blonde. Her long white dress draped all over her petite frame diaphanously. She had a heart shaped face with very delicate features; a slim nose, small full lips, and big grey-blue eyes with full lashes that fell like feathers on her lids.

Those eyes looked very familiar.

Claudine bowed to the woman, and they seemed to be having a conversation between themselves with their eyes, then finally Claudine released my hand.

"Sookie, this is the one you need to meet," she said peacefully, extending an open hand to the radiant woman before me, "I'll go now," she nodded her head to the woman and then turned her attention back to me. "Don't worry, you're perfectly safe," she said and winked. I didn't even notice her disappearance because

My eyes became fixed on the woman in front of me, on her eyes.

I wanted to be nervous—that seemed like the normal reaction­—but I just wasn't. We stood silently staring at each other for a while until she spoke.

"_Child_," she said in a voice that rang like wind chimes. All that nervousness I hadn't experienced before suddenly bubbled up. She was talking to me and me alone, without ever moving her lips.

"_Do I know you?" _ I said in a small voice. I _couldn't_? So why did I feel like I did?

"_Not yet_," she said and smiled gently, revealing a row of pearly teeth.

"_Why did you want to meet me?"_ I stammered out.

"_I thought it was time,"_ she said, still smiling. The more I looked at her, the more I understood. Everything was clicking into place. The Rubik's cube that was my existence, my heritage, all of a sudden all the colors matched and everything had its place.

"_How is this possible?"_ I asked in astonishment, but somehow at ease again.

"_Come sit with me and I shall tell you,"_ she said as she moved gracefully towards me with her long mane glistening like threads of rose gold. She came and took my hand in hers—it felt like satin and weighed nothing—but somehow I could still grip it. We walked together to a fallen trunk on the edge of the tree line. She smiled at everything around us, like she wanted the trees to know she said hello, and finally she brought her eyes to mine as I perched on the trunk next to her. I could hardly look her in the eye. _Those_ eyes. I was so distracted; I accidentally cut my palm on a jagged piece of bark.

"Oh, no," I said assessing the gnarled splinter in my wound that was now producing blood. She reached over and covered my hand with hers and squeezed. I winced because despite having the appearance of buttermilk, her hands were quite strong. When she released my hand, she held her hand up to me, palm up. The sliver of wood was there I looked down at my palm and the wound was completely healed.

"_I do love this place, but it certainly has its hazards," _she said pleasantly.

"_How did you…?" _I was flabbergasted.

"_I feel you know the answer now," _she said lifting one brow._ "But let me tell you that which you do not yet know."_

I nodded.

"_Before my ascent, I was in love," _she said with a sigh_, " As a fairy, to be in love with a human_…" she broke off, remembering him fondly, and I knew this because she was _showing _it to me; them holding hands, laying together in a field, the day she said goodbye, his face, the tears. It was like a reel of film she projected into me. "_Well, it was very difficult,_" she said slowly, pained at the words.

"_But I did give birth to a wonderful and beautiful child. He was quite lovely_," she said with pleasure and her voice rang like music, "_But I had to leave him. It had to be done, there was no other choice_."

"_Because you ascended,"_ I said, finishing her thought.

"_Yes," _she said thoughtfully_. "But I gave birth to him afterwards. I was no longer fairy when he was born from me. My sacrifice to keep him and forfeit my place was the final judgment towards my ascension."_ I took a hard gulp.

"_Uh, huh,"_ I wish I had something more intelligent to say, but words had escaped me.

"_It is alright, child,"_ she said laying her hand on mine, smiling brilliantly.

"_He had a child as well, with a human girl. He had a daughter,"_ she said delicately and her cheeks flushed rosy as an image of a small girl came to her. I knew it when I saw her eyes those eyes but having it confirmed was something else. She was talking about my Gran. Oh my God.

"_Sorry!_" I amended myself instantly.

"_No worries, child. To use it in vain is not the offense many think it to be_," she said, tapping her temple lightly with a slim finger and laughing melodically. "_You look like her as well," _she said, searching my face with her eyes.

"_So, I'm a quarter…fairy? What does this make me?"_ I shook my head, confused by the logistics of it, and I couldn't bring myself to say was she really was. She smiled knowingly at my thoughts.

"_You are human of Fae blood. The gift you inherited from me is not in your blood, it's in your being. One of my gifts as a fairy was to see into the minds of others. Despite your blood, your spark is mine and mine alone,"_ she said and beamed proudly. I couldn't help but smile back—it was practically contagious.

"_Niall is your great grandfather, so you do have some of his familial material, but it is not his essential essence you carry, that is from me, although he did covet it so," _I didn't like the sound of that, but it all made sense.

"What do you mean?"

"_A very long time ago Niall pursued me for a mate. We did have a brief relationship but I saw his real intentions. My gift was extraordinarily rare, even for a fairy, and he thought it would bring him an advantage. Shortly thereafter, I fell in love with another, the human man, so I refused him. I think it brings him great pride to see me in you."_

My mind was reeling into overload. The more answers she gave me, the more questions I had.

"_Did she know?" _ Was it coincidence that Fintan found my Gran? Did Gran know what her grandmother was? How did this escape me? All those years living with her, I could read her mind, and yet I never knew any of these secrets, how could she conceal them from me?

"_She knew of her lineage. I met her once before, here, like I am meeting you now. She had some gifts of her own," _she said and winked. My mouth gaped open.

"_Telepathy?" _I was stunned.

"_No. She had the ability to see forward. Her strength of mind allowed her to shield you from any knowledge. She knew you were coming even before I did," _she said and smiled_. "Unfortunately her visions were rare and she couldn't see all things." _

I was saddened that Gran had never shared any of these things with me. It would have made me feel less alone but it explained how she always understood and never judged me. She never questioned my ability or treated it as an oddity. She just accepted it. But there were so many times when things happened and she was eerily unphased by their occurrence. The summer I went to spend the week with her and she grabbed me, shaking me, insisting I tell her what Uncle Bartlett had done and I told her everything. The night my parents died, she'd been crying for hours before we ever got the call. She insisted Aunt Linda visit an oncologist even though she was in great health, and then they found the cancer. The night the vampires came out she just shrugged and smiled. When I began dating Bill, it was as if she knew I'd have a relationship with a vampire. All this things whizzed through my mind so quickly I began feeling dizzy.

"_Rest, child_," she said, laying her hand on my head and stroking my hair, _"We were very glad when she met your grandfather. I wished her life to be uncomplicated. He gave her the family she never had before, but unfortunately, he couldn't give her the children she dreamed of. We were very pleased she found happiness_," she said delicately.

It was true; my Gran was raised by her mother and grew up with very little family around her. She told me her father had died in the war, leaving her mother a widow. She was an only child until her mother remarried years later and Uncle Bartlett arrived. But she loved all people and loved having a full house, surrounded by love and family.

"_She was much like her father. It wasn't mere fate that Fintan found her that day. He traveled miles because he was drawn there without knowing why or what he would find when he arrived. But once they met, there was no way to alter what happened next. She had already seen him in her future so when he appeared she did not question it even though it was against her judgment. Their essences knew each other in a way that could not be denied. Although they were strangers, they recognized each other deeply in the fiber of their beings and it could not be disregarded. My granddaughter was honorable and did not leave your human grandfather, although I know that became Fintan's wish," _she said politely, although it was clear that was a sore spot_. " When you were conceived and my spark manifested itself in you, she had to block these things from you to protect you. She wished for nothing more than a simple happy life for you both."_ Simple and happy sounded ideal right about now.

"_And Hunter?"_ I said suddenly realizing that now everything made sense.

"_Yes, he shares my spark as well. It is very selective," _she smiled broadly and gave me a wink._" but does not dilute over time because as I said, it is not carried in your blood."_

"_So we are the only one's with a gift," _I said, in intrigue_._

"_Yes and no. Your father, your aunt, your cousin and your brother inherited Niall familial material. It was dominate so nothing from me came to them. What they took from Niall was the ability to attract or detract admiration and affection. But never to honestly return it." _Thatmade more sense than I wanted to admit and it made me sad because it was the truth. I guess Hunter and I got lucky just getting the telepathy because my other family members had a hard go of things.

"_Couldn't you have saved Gran? Or Linda? Or my parents?"_ _Or Jason_ I thought sadly. He was so young.

"_I cannot interfere_," she said calmly, "_It is as it was supposed to be. I can only aid when the time is wrong, not when it is right," he said tenderly_, "_As for your parents, it was not their time, but I was too late," _she said mournfully and closed her mind in a cloud of opaque white. She would only share what she wanted to.

"_So, not like Claudine, huh,"_ I said thinking of all the times she'd grabbed the wheel and steered me to safety.

"_Not quite, although your time has never come. She is doing a fine job. She is my protégé," _she said pleasantly.

"_So you've taken her under your wing_, _so to speak,"_ I replied, in irony. She got the joke and laughed long and high, and in that moment, I felt tremendous warmth rush through me. Leaves fell from the branches above and floated down around us in a wild dance, as if the trees were requesting an encore of her siren's sound.

"_Yes, this could be viewed as truth,"_ she said in amusement.

"_When will I see you again?"_ And what is your name? What should I call you?

"_You won't see me often, but I am with you always," _she said as her cottony aura transformed into a full on glow. I had to blink a few times just to understand fully, "_And _y_ou may call me Adamira." _

_Adamira _I said it in my head a few times.

"_I must go now_," she said looking me so directly in the eye I felt compelled to look away.

"_No, child,"_ she said lifting my chin, "_You are of me, do not be ashamed," _I closed my eyes as she leaned forward and I felt her warm lips as she kissed my forehead softly.

***

When I opened my eyes, I found myself standing next to my car in the poorly lit parking lot. I was completely alone. I noticed there was no Fairy blood on the gravel anymore, either. _Well, that was freaky_ I thought in my head, as I looked down an inspected myself. Then the employee door flew open and Terry appeared in it and rushed towards me.

"Are you alright Sookie? I don't know where he went," Terry said hurriedly, "He was sitting _right there_ and looked down for only a second…I'm sorry, I should have walked you out. I thought I just heard you yell, are you okay? He was speaking so quickly I hardly followed what he was saying.

"Yeah," I said calmly as I reached down a grabbed my purse off the ground, "I'm fine, I just dropped my purse. I thought I broke my cell phone," I said as I flipped my phone open and scrolled through. It was still the same minute as when I had called Fangtasia. No time had passed at all.

"You sure Sookie?" he asked skeptically.

"Really, I'm fine," I said giving him a weak smile.

"Cheap out-of-towner ran out on his damn bill, " he mumbled under his breath.

We must have stood there for a minute or so when I finally snapped out of it. I was almost abducted from this very spot so it was probably a good idea to haul tail.

"Nite Terry," I said as I fished my keys out again and turned to unlock my car.

"Nite Sook," He thought I was turning into one weird bird. And this was even after the glamoring.

Terry watched me through the window as I clumsily fumbled with my keys but finally managed to start my ignition. With the car humming around me I began warming my hands in front of the heater vent, trying to form a coherent thought. I bumped out of the gravel parking lot and clicked my turn signal on towards the direction of my home.

I was even more worried for Niall now. This was a crafty bunch he was up against and I was sorry to hear about Fintan's murder. But somehow I felt a weight had been lifted after learning more about myself. Like I was less of an oddity. Like I was more whole. They say you'll never know who you are until you know where you came from and tonight I got closer than I ever had before. And it felt good.

I was turning the wheel left as I pulled out of the parking lot, and suddenly I braked hard.

If there was ever a night to get answers, tonight was surely it. I felt a surge of determination as I turned the wheel hard to the right and gassed it, kicking up gravel behind me. My headlights soon hit the green sign that read "I-20 to Shreveport" and I got on the highway heading to Fangtasia.


	15. Chapter 15

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampires series or any of the characters featured. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

And I'll be anything you ask and more  
It's not a miracle we needed

And, no, I wouldn't let you think so

1901 by Pheonix

It's actually the song I've chosen to be in the background at the club. It's a great band and a great song. Thanks again for your awesome reviews and words of encouragement. They mean a lot. 

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I didn't have a plan.

I realized this as I was sitting in my car parked in front of Fantasia. My hands were still gripping the wheel and I was staring out the windshield at the front of the club—just like I had been for last ten minutes. More than ever I wished I'd planned this better and asked Amelia or someone, anyone, to come with me. I'd never needed moral support more than this ever before. The parking lot was overflowing with cars and there was a big banner above the entrance that read "Ladies' Night Tonight" with the tagline "Drink your heart's desire" underneath. Those vamps and their humor. I almost used these observations as excuses to turn around and go back home. Eventually someone would have to call me back. I was about to turn the key in the ignition and drive off, when I shored up my resolve and reapplied my lip gloss before I headed for the front entrance. I decided to seek out Pam. She would give me the truth whether I liked it or not—no sugarcoating it.

After five or so minutes in line, I got to the front to see Felicia was running the entry.

"Hi, Felicia," I said, happy to see a familiar face. "I'm here to see Eric and Pam." I smiled sweetly.

"Hi, woman," Felicia replied in her melodic Caribbean twang. "ID and 5 dollars." I was a little disappointed by this, because I hadn't been carded or asked to pay a cover charge here in over a year. But I wasn't totally surprised and came prepared for this negative eventuality. _Oh how the mighty have fallen, _I thought to myself.

"Sure," I said sliding my ID and a folded bill out of my back pocket. "Here you go. So, Pam and Eric are both here tonight, huh?" I asked nervously, standing on my tiptoes and peering over her shoulder into the dark club.

"Yes," she said and raised her eyebrows at me. She clearly wanted me to mosey on inside and quit bottlenecking the front door traffic, so I walked past her and entered the noisy club. I immediately began jostling my way through the thick crowd up to the thrones where Pam and Eric customarily sat on busy nights like this, but no dice. They weren't there. I stood on my tiptoes and scanned the all the heads floating atop the ocean of people, searching for the 6'4" Viking that should surely be sticking out like a sore thumb. But then I reminded myself that I had come here to talk to Pam, not_ Eric_.

Just then a sloppy looking fella that was clearly a tourist bumped into my shoulder and sent a waterfall of brown liquid cascading down the arm of my Merlotte's shirt.

"Watch where you're going," I said loudly over the blaring music, as I wiped sticky Rum and Coke off my formerly white sleeve and shoulder.

"You looking for somebody?" he asked drunkenly and started to reach for a lock of my hair. He was a close talker and reeked of tobacco, liquor, and I'm pretty sure pot, too. I cringed back.

"Yes, I am, and it's not you," I said quickly and wrapped my arms around my shoulders to block the disgusting mental advances he had in mind for my breasts. "Now excuse me," I said, as I forced my way through the dense crowd to the ladies' room.

The line was five girls long, and I huffed in frustration. At that point I just wanted somewhere to hide and possibly clean up some of the brown soda stain now running down my sleeve. My hair was a fluffy mess and I needed to make myself more presentable. _But not for Eric,_ I reminded myself.

I was standing in the hallway—patiently waiting for my turn in the bathroom— when I picked up on a familiar frequency. And this familiar someone was thinking about Eric. I tilted my head around at different angles and craned my neck towards where I felt this "voice" coming in the strongest. I listened as hard as I could through the loud music and incessant chatter, zeroing in on the "voice." And then my heart sank because she wasn't just thinking about him…

Selah was lying on her back on his desk with all his paperwork strewn across the floor and him ravaging her, tearing her clothes off with his teeth. I dropped my face into my hands and involuntarily yelled a choice four-letter expletive that would have made Jason proud.

"You okay?" asked the girl in front of me in line for the bathroom. She'd seen me craning my neck around like a dog trying to catch a scent and thought I was on drugs.

"Just fine," I said through clenched teeth and dropped my head back into my hands.

I almost ran out of the bar and back home to Bon Temps, back to where things were simple and honest, but there was no better way to confirm all this than by facing this head on. At the very least, it would give me closure. I came here to get to the bottom of it and now here I was, at the absolute bottom.

I got out of line and began to creep farther down the hall to the door to Eric's office, and the images were glaring now. Selah was in there and all I could see was him rolling her thigh highs off her terrible legs. I felt like spiders were all over me, crawling over every inch of my cold skin. And I could feel him. I could feel his warmth in that godforsaken room with her. Every inch closer channeled more and more of him into me, and I couldn't stand it. I could feel his intensity as I saw in my mind his lowering his beautiful body onto that awful woman.

I laid my hand on the knob and rested my ear against the door, and I heard muffled noises coming through the thick door. I fought back tears and vomit and screams; I fought it all back, pushing it down, trying to bury it, so I wouldn't lose my marbles in the dirty dark hallway of a nightclub.

_So this is it,_ I told myself._ Either open this door and face the music or run and hide. _Running and hiding sounded like such a good option at the moment because someone else's mental image I could deal with, but a firsthand eyewitness account of those two together in the throes of passion could very well send me over a dangerous edge_. _I was going to find out what I was really made of tonight.

I would not hide.

I squeezed the knob, hoping it was unlocked and took a few deep breaths before my shaking hand flung the door open so wide it slammed against the wall and bounced back, still reverberating from the impact. It almost hit me as I leapt through the opening.

But Selah and Eric weren't on the desk.

And I was very surprised with what I saw.

Victor Madden was sitting in the angled leather guest chair facing the desk. He looked both surprised and annoyed. Pam was on her feet behind the desk—ready for action—with her fangs fully extended and her fingers curled into claws ready to strike. I turned to my left and saw Selah sitting on the leather sofa with her fully hosed legs crossed prudently. She was staring up at me in total shock.

And a smile instantly spread across my face from ear to ear. I was beaming.

She was fantasizing about him.

She had been in here fantasizing about him.

I flipped through her mind and saw none of it had ever happened.

My smile was so big now, I was sure my face would crack.

I couldn't blame her, he was certainly fantasy worthy, but boy did she have a good imagination. I had to give credit where credit was due, her fantasies were very realistic and anatomically correct for fiction—but I guess mine were, too.

And then my smile fell right off my face and I freaking blushed. I tried to stop it—stupid blood vessels—but I couldn't. The full impact of my erotic dream last night flooded my imagination and turned my head to the corner of the room, to the only person not surprised to see me here.

Eric.

He was standing in front of a nice leather chair that I'm sure he was lounging in until my loony entrance. He furrowed his brow at me, looking mildly agitated, and then he smiled that glorious smile that created multiple arcs in the corners of his mouth. Not only did he feel my jealousy upon storming the gates, he was now feeling my...horniness. I was supposed to be furious at him because he clearly was with me when he stormed out of my house the night before but instead, there I was, infiltrating his office on some covert stalker mission full of envy and lust. I had lost all my damn dignity around him because of this blood bond.

But before I even realized what I was doing, I ran over and threw my arms around him. I was just so happy and proud that he hadn't actually participated in any dirty deeds with Selah. I couldn't stop myself. I was filled with joy and relief. He was momentarily startled, but he wrapped his arms around me in return and squeezed a bit. I instinctively nuzzled my face into his chest in response. I took a deep breath and he smelled perfect. I felt one of his arms move from around me and reach up to caress my hair. I looked up and saw his face, complete with his fantastic non-Selah-kissing lips. I smiled up at him.

"What is she doing here?" Victor questioned from behind me.

Eric moved his gaze from mine to behind me where Victor sat and gave him a very harsh look, before turning his attention back to me.

"Sookie, what are you doing here?" he asked, sounding serious—but I felt a tinge of amusement and pleasure coming from him. His eyebrow quirked up—just a tiny fraction—but I caught it.

"Ladies' Night," I said quickly. "Just came in for the drink specials, and I thought since I was here, I'd pop in and say hello," I said as casually as I could, not moving my eyes or my embrace from Eric. He looked amazing in a blue button up that got real fitted around the chest and bicep area of his body. He was still wearing his standard blue jeans, but that shirt made his eyes shine like the ocean.

Then, oddly enough, he leaned down and sniffed my hair.

"This troublemaker has no business here, this is a private meeting," Victor ordered, and I turned my head back to him. He was looking at me with great contempt, appraising my appearance with a look of disapproval, and suddenly I became a little self conscious about my nutty entrance and my disheveled and stained outfit, since they were all clearly dressed very nicely. But I didn't get the impression his disapproval was entirely due to my bad wardrobe.

"I'll handle this, Victor," Eric said directly, as I felt him a small rumble growing in his chest, and shot him a nasty look. This was getting a little tense.

"Sookie, who have you been with tonight?" He peered down at me suspiciously.

"With Claudine," I said innocently, trying to avoid going into great details about tonight's revelations.

"I ordered them not to come to you," he said angrily. Well that figures. It's not even his war but if he's gonna be involved in it, of course he makes himself the commander. But I felt bad because Claudine had only come to save my life.

"And with Dermot," I supplied and gave him a knowing look. I don't know how else to describe it, but all the sudden he looked very pissed. His eyes widened a fraction, and I felt his arms tense around me.

"I will need to speak with Niall," he said slowly in a restrained voice. "Did you come here alone?"

"Yes," I said, again trying to seem as innocent as possible. Clearly Eric knew I didn't come for Ladies' Night and that was embarrassing enough. I didn't need the whole room as an audience.

"Pam, go get Bubba," Eric said over my head in the direction of the desk.

"Don't make orders of your sheriff," Victor snarled.

"It's fine, Victor. The sooner she leaves the sooner we can get back to business," Pam said simply. I heard her stand from her chair and exit the room. I'd like to think she was just covering for Eric, but a part of me wondered if that was entirely the case. Within seconds Pam was back with Bubba. He was holding a bottle of TrueBlood and wearing a T-shirt that said POW-MIA. I had to snicker at the irony.

Eric broke our embrace and I let my arms fall to my sides.

"Bubba is going to accompany you home," he ordered gently, with his big hands on my shoulders. I nodded my head slowly, trying to get a read from his expression.

"You still think she's worth it?" Victor asked sneeringly, not at all sounding like he'd asked a question.

"Excuse me?" I turned around and snapped at Victor. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Vamp or no vamp, I'd had just about enough of being insulted for one day.

"I think we've all had quite enough of you for one night," he replied casually, looking down at his paperwork in his lap. I looked around the room and saw Pam, now reseated behind the desk, looking very intensely at me, and I turned back to Eric raising my brow in a silent question at Victor's remark. Surely he would defend me.

Eric looked back to Victor and gave him a stony look and then looked down at me.

"Sookie, you shouldn't be here, you need to go," Eric said sounding firm and removed.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. I felt like a servant being excused because the important folks had to talk. Obviously I wasn't invited to this gathering, but maybe I was hoping he'd ask me to wait for him so we could talk…something, anything. I know the expression I wore had to have been pretty pathetic looking as I searched his face for some reassurance, but he broke away from my eyes and looked back to the desk. That said it all.

"I'm sorry, excuse me," I said as I backed out the door, bumping into Bubba as I did. Pam had relaxed, but was looking at me with some unidentifiable expression. Victor had turned his attention back to the documents in his lap, clearing his throat as he began reading something off again to the group, and Selah looked so smug I really could have slapped her. _Good idea_ I said to myself as I marched over to her and swung quickly with an open palm.

"Don't you _ever_ look at me like that again," I said in a level voice. Her mouth gaped open and she was clutching her reddened cheek with her hand. In her mind, she was regretting ever taking this job. I heard a few snickers from behind me, but didn't bother to look as I exited.

I closed the door to the office, and I scrambled my way out of the horrible club, putting as much distance as I could between me and that office. I felt like I couldn't breathe until I burst through the club doors and the chilly night air hit my face and filled my lungs.

I didn't stop.

I moved quickly around the corner of the building and finally stopped, bending over and resting my hands on my knees taking deep breathes. I exhaled deeply one last time and leaned against the brick wall, uncomfortably sliding down against it to the ground. I wrapped my arms around my knees and just sat there for a while.

I was feeling too many things at once: humiliated, deflated, disappointed, angry…

My train of thought was disrupted when I sensed someone walking towards me, and I looked up hopefully. It was Bubba.

I couldn't even speak so I just waved him off. He understood and disappeared back around the dark corner.

So then I just sat staring up at the stars until I felt ready for the long drive home.

I lost track of time leaning against the wall, looking up at cloudless night sky, when I realized at least an hour must have passed.

"You really did it this time," said a woman's voice from the corner of the building. I turned my head in her direction and saw Pam walking slowly towards me with a not-so-friendly look on her face.

"Well, if I _have _done something, I have no idea what it is," I replied honestly. I'd been combing my mind for the last hour trying to figure out when _I_ had become the bad guy in a room full of vampires and Selah.

"Sookie," she said as she sat down next to me. "I've always considered you above average intellectually, compared to your human counterparts, but let me be frank. You're acting like an idiot."

"I don't think so." Alright, my appearance tonight was a little…off, but I don't think it constituted me being an _idiot_.

"No?," she replied skeptically with her brows raised.

"No. And why the hell is Eric hanging out with Selah?" I realize now Selah really was just his attorney, but what legal stuff was Eric so entangled in to have her around night after night? Pam gave me an irritated look and pinched her lips together before speaking.

"Sookie, this is all for you."

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N:**

I am so happy this chapter is finally out! *whew* I've been feeling like the unrepentant Sookieverse terrorist. I think a few began to think I was writing an Eric/Selah HEA...{{shutters}} I'm sorry for any heart palpitations I may have caused. The idea makes me laugh because I swore fealty to the gracious plenty long ago.

There, I said it.

As a few of you have astutely pointed out, this story is somewhat unorthodox to a traditional fic. I actually started out to write some really short simple story, the infamous talk perhaps, but it just felt wrong. Like I wasn't doing justice to their story. So, no shortcuts, I took the long way. But like Robert Frost said, two roads diverged in the woods, and I...I took the one that smelled of chicken burritos and strawberry ice cream. *wink*

That's not really what he said, but you know what I mean. :D

Thanks for coming on this ride with me. You took a leap of faith when you got in with the driver of a crazy hippy bus on gold 20's that reeked of fabric softener and spray paint. Love you for that.

More answers to come...

Citizen


	16. Chapter 16

***disclaimer**: I do not own the Southern Vampire Series or any of the characters featured below. All rights belong to Charlaine Harris.

"_The only gift is a portion of thyself."_

**Ralph Waldo Emerson**

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"What do you mean?" I asked as I peered at her. She shook her head in irritation and leaned forward to smooth the fabric of her chinos, as her legs stretched out before her, crossed at the ankles. She looked up at the night sky, and it seemed to relax her some.

"Sookie, do you remember when we came to you and told you Felipe had offered you the king's protection? That all vampires under his charge were sworn to protect you, to risk their own lives at all costs for you?" She was speaking to me like she was explaining to a five year old how to tie their shoes. I nodded.

"When this war started," she sneered, "Eric went to Felipe. He asked him to honor this promise and to send guardians to you at once. Eric only told him that your life was in grave danger and that it was urgent, so Felipe agreed without hesitation. Unfortunately, Sandy was here and she discovered the 'grave danger' was a war between the fae. So she and Victor reported this back to Felipe."

"Well, what's wrong with that? It's probably important he knows what his men are up against, what to be looking out for," I said simply.

"Sookie, vampires have _no_ interest in fighting wars with the fae. None. Zip. Zero. Since the last fairy-vamp war, there has been peace, but that war didn't end in our favor," she said, lowering her brows.

"So you guys lost," I said conclusively, but internally I was slightly amused at this revelation.

"Yes, we lost. And not by a small amount. Our numbers were greatly depleted. Although we now outnumber them significantly, their magic's give them the advantage. We have a very delicate truce with them now but for us to take a stance against any group of fae, especially Najine, would violate it grossly. It would be disastrous. We cannot get involved with this. Felipe did not know you were in any way connected to the fae when he extended you the protection so he felt he was within his right to decline."

"Makes sense," I said casually, but I had to admit I was feeling hurt by it. I guess when people vow to keep me safe they don't realize they are biting off more than they can chew. I can't blame them when they make a run for it.

"But Eric didn't see it that way," she said regretfully. Internally, I wore a smile at that statement, but then I thought about it more and found there was sadness there, too.

"So that's why Eric was fired and you're sheriff now," I said, feeling guilty. I knew how much he enjoyed his position, and I surely never wanted to be the cause of him losing it.

"No, he…quit." My mouth fell open a bit as I stared at her. She was still mouthing the words to herself silently, in disbelief. "Eric quit. He fought with them for days and threatened to take it to the Ancient Pythoness. The king's word is supposed to be final. There has never been an instance where he refused a promise of protection. But a fairy war? No, no, no, no," she began chanting and shaking her head. She continued, "So Eric told him he would not work for such a dishonorable king, but his intent was to force their hand. They didn't want him to leave, he is very valuable to them, and they didn't want Felipe's name slandered in front of all other vampires by Eric calling him a coward, so they retaliated. They are trying to take all his businesses, his money, even his home and his car, claiming it is all property of Area Five, claiming he has been embezzling, all to get revenge. They are playing very dirty," she said angrily, but I could see some sadness in her eyes. Now I felt terribly guilty—but I would have never asked that of him.

"And of course, Eric is too stubborn and prideful to give in," she added, disdainfully.

"Well, he didn't need to do all that. I'm sure Niall and Claudine can handle it on their own. And besides, my life isn't in _grave _danger," I said stubbornly. It all seemed a little dramatic to me and I didn't want an army of vamps surrounding my house anyway. She leaned in and sniffed me and then arched her brows skeptically at me.

"Alright, but tonight was the first time." I pursed my lips and admitted reluctantly.

She kept her eyebrows raised and let out a low whistle. Bubba came trotting around the corner.

"Bubba, can you please tell _Miss Sookie_ here what you found in her woods almost two weeks ago?" she asked in a condescendingly sweet voice.

"One of them daggum fairies," he said quickly. "He was jumping around like a tick on a hound through them woods, but he run off when he seen me."

"What! Why didn't you tell me, Bubba?" I exclaimed and almost jumped up from my seated position.

"I thought he may'a been one of your friends, Miss Sookie. You always have them little fairy buggers over these days and he looked a lot like the fella you had over the night before. I thought you'd be mad I done scared him off. "

"What? What fella?" I asked in confusion. Niall? It must be Niall, but he never mentioned being run off from my woods.

"Aww, you know, the—" he began timidly.

"That is all, Bubba," Pam said sharply and waved her hand, dismissing him back to darkness.

"You all should have told me sooner!" I said angrily. "You can't keep things like that from me! This is my life, after all. If it's in danger, I need to be the first one to know!"

"We didn't know. Bubba didn't think to tell anyone until last night when we told him to stand guard on your house," she said, sounding very justified.

"Well, I should be in on all these little pow-wows, not excluded like a child. And why is no one talking to me? I've called you a hundred times! I know you think humans are just snack meat but I thought…I mean, I _thought_ we were friends." I said questioningly. Pam wore a mixture of pity and anger on her face as she absorbed my words.

"Sookie, do not be mistaken. I do like you, but you are no longer just a disadvantage to Eric, you are a liability. He is making foolish decisions because of you. He is my maker and I am here to protect him from anything, even from you, even from himself," she said slowly, her eyes sending me a silent warning. It was clear that if she thought I would bring harm to Eric, she would rip my throat out in a heartbeat, no matter how much she liked me.

We just sat silently for a long while. I hugged my knees tightly and stared at the chain-link fence a few yards away, thinking about all the strife around me. I could understand Pam's loyalty to Eric. I actually admired it. But I just couldn't see how I was responsible for _all_ this. Maybe I just didn't want to see it because it was too much burden. I stared at the links in the partially collapsing fence and studied the areas where it pinched and buckled. I didn't want to be the chink in his fence, the thing that brought him down. That's not what you do to people you care about.

"He told me he was in this war because he owed Niall a favor," I mumbled out, into the night air, maybe talking to myself more than to Pam. I needed to vocalize some reassurance that I was not the only reason his life was spiraling out of his hands. I know how he revered power and control, and to not have it would be like my not having my telepathy. Sadly, I almost needed it to survive now.

"Is that what he told you?" she snorted. I laid my head on my knees and turned my head to face her. She seemed to be in deep thought about something.

"Sookie, I'm going to do you a favor. Let me tell you what your own family hasn't," she spat. "This whole war has become about you now."

Now I snorted.

"I'm not even a fairy, Pam. I'm not even half," I said in an annoyed voice, as I lifted my head and stared at the fence again. It's one thing to blame me for Eric quitting, it's another to blame a whole damn war on me.

"Doesn't matter," she said quietly. "Yes, Najine hates Niall, but this is not new. Didn't you wonder about that? Why now?"

"Not really. You're all crazy as hell and do things that don't make any damn sense," I commented bitterly. It was true. Every time I thought I was getting the swing of things in the supe world, I'd get shot at or kidnapped or met an alien like Clovache or got poofed to an alternate universe.

"Sookie, did you have a guest Christmas night?" she asked in the same patronizingly sweet voice she used with Bubba. Damn, these vamps are gossips!

"Yes, but that's my business. I am a grown woman," I said defensively in a loud voice. I stood up to walk away because I wasn't about to be shamed by a woman who thought a baby shower was a tasting party, and it ticked me off. But before I could walk off, she leapt to her feet and blocked me. For a second, I thought she was going to jump me so I flinched, but she just stood and stared me dead in the eyes.

"Yes. You're so grown up, Sookie," Pam said smugly. "Since you are such an independent woman who makes her own wise and informed decisions, let me tell you something. That man you let fuck you? He was not a Were," she said venomously. My eyes widened, she definitely had my attention now.

"That's right, Sookie. In fact, he was a fairy. And furthermore, he is a friend of Niall's. He found out about your telepathy and it got back to Najine. And now they want you. That is what this is all about, Sookie. They want you," she finished with her slim fingernail pointed at my nose.

"Well, what the heck for?" I yelled unnecessarily, mostly because I was confused and a little scared.

"He hasn't even told you, has he? Your precious great-grandfather? Maybe he is after it for himself. But we know," she said tauntingly, her words coming out in a hiss. "He told us when he came to Eric and asked for his help to protect you. He swore us to secrecy and promised Eric he would tell you himself. Clearly he hasn't. Do you know that your gift of telepathy could be passed a new generation of fae? Even though the child would only be half, if your spark meets with another fae, it will be passed. Do you know how valuable that is? A fae with your spark can read the minds of _all_. Humans, fairies, vampires, elves, brownies…_all_. It would be tremendously powerful, and it is exactly what they're after." She was almost vibrating in her anger, but I was too stupefied to speak.

"So don't misunderstand me, Sookie. The only _favor_ Eric is doing is for _you_," she spat, saying the word "favor" as though it were poisonous.

We just stood there staring at each other almost nose to nose. I didn't know any of this, and I wasn't even sure where to go from here. Too many lies and deceptions. Whom could I trust? The other fae wanted to use me as a breeder for their scary science project to make telepathic babies, and I pretty much ruined Eric's life without knowing it.

Eric.

No wonder he was so distant and angry when I was around. A one-thousand-year old vampire has put everything he's ever worked for on the line. For me. He was resentful and distant now, and he had good reason to be. All the promises he'd made, now he knew and maybe he was trying to uphold his end of the deal. He felt responsible for me. I didn't ask for it, it didn't have to. He gave it anyways. My heart sank knowing I was the one who was causing everything he'd built to crumble all around him. Everything he'd known. I stumbled back a few steps and grated my way down to the ground against the rough bricks.

"Well…shit," I said exasperatedly, looking up at Pam's face. She smiled a bit and returned to her seat on the concrete next to me.

"Well, shit is right," she said amusedly.

I picked up a small rock off the cold ground and tossed it, watching as it skipped across the pavement until it disappeared beyond the borders of the lot. I just wanted my mind to switch off.

"So basically, to protect myself from these jerks I need to get a rifle that shoots lemons and go have a hysterectomy." I said flatly. Pam chuckled a little at my side.

"Yes, lemons are very effective," she said in amusement. "Although, I don't know about the hysterectomy. Don't you want to have children one day? Dear Abby says children are a blessing. But she also said it takes a village to bathe one and that seems like a lot of work." I chuckled a little myself then, too.

"I believe it takes a village to _raise_ one, not _bathe_ one," I supplied.

She scowled. "Either way, it sounds like a terrible mess. A delicious mess, especially with the village thrown in, but a terrible one." I looked at her, appalled, and she winked.

"By the way, nice job slapping the whore," she said casually. I figured that was her snickering as I walked out of the office.

"I've got a strong pimp-hand," I said sarcastically, remembering how Jason used to say that when Hoyt asked him why his girls stuck around despite all his mischief.

"You were jealous," she said in a statement.

"Not really," I said hesitantly. "More than anything, I just was just mad to think that he would be messing around with _her _specifically."

"You're lying," she said and smiled.

"No, I'm not," I said insistently. "He does his own thing. It doesn't bother me at all. It's not like we're dating.

"I've never seen you two look at each other like that before," she said in wonderment.

"I think he's handsome, he thinks I'm…attractive. A lot of people look at each other lustfully. I'm not ashamed of it," I said, trying my hardest not to sound ashamed. I guess I had sort of undressed him with my eyes back in the office.

"You love him," she replied.

"Umm, I think you're taking some big leaps here, Pam" I said critically, knitting my brows together.

"You shouldn't deny it. It's really your only redeeming quality right now," she said, trying to hide her smirk as she looked down and appraised her polished fingernails.

"No offense, Pam, but I think that 'idiot' thing may have rubbed off on you tonight," I retorted. She smiled a bit but then she turned serious again

"He…cares very deeply for you, Sookie," she said sounding as serious and sincere as I'd ever heard her sound. I was beginning to get that impression after tonight.

"I know," I said quietly and squeezed my knees again, "Why didn't he tell me any of this?" Eric was the first person on the planet to take credit for a good deed. He would certainly revel in the glory of my being grateful to him.

"He came to tell you last night, but I heard you got carried away with…other things," she said smugly.

"Who told you that? Oh right, Bill," Talk about a nosy neighbor. "Yeah, we got distracted for a while. I guess I should have heard him out all the way."

"You've sealed the bond now," she said matter-of-factly, tilting her head up to the night sky.

"We didn't _seal_ anything," I said, trying not to sound disappointed about it. "But what do you mean by _seal_ the bond?"

She turned to me with a crease in her forehead and a confused look in her eye.

"Once you consummate the bond, it is final, and it is very powerful," she said like this was the most widely known fact on the planet. I just furrowed my brow, and she rolled her eyes and continued, "Let me simplify this for you. Once you two fuck, the blood bond is sealed for eternity. The bond is stronger and you begin to share more of each other. He will have more of you with him, and you will have more of him with you. You will be stronger. Together. Also, you can directly call each other, both ways, but I don't know if that applies to you because of your oh-so-highly-sought-after gift," she said, pointing a finger into my forehead. Well that complicates things. I guess I should be grateful Eric turned me down because I'm not interested in either one of us having any more power over each other than we already do.

"Yeah, gift," I said sarcastically and swiped her hand away. "I've had more gifts than I can handle."

"You have no idea, Sookie," she replied. I looked at her quizzically, but decided I'd had enough of cryptic moody Pam.

"It's late, I better get going," I said, as I raised myself off the concrete and dusted off my backside. "Is Eric still here?"

"No. He is off playing Viking warrior with Niall," she said sourly, but I could see the fear flash in her eyes. She was afraid for him and that scared me more than anything else I'd seen these last few days. I sucked in a deep breath.

"Don't worry Pam, I'll fix it," I said and gave her a small hug. I'd never hugged Pam before and I doubt she'd get any consolation from it, but I knew how much Eric meant to her and how bad things were right now.

"Sookie, are you hitting on me? Eric wouldn't like this very much, but I'm game if you are," she said, lifting one hand and sliding it down my back and lower.

"Pam!" I exclaimed as I jerked back from her. She was smiling with her fangs out.

"You shouldn't hug me unless you're prepared to do it naked," she said through her smile.

"Duly noted," I said as I frowned with disapproval and she laughed. Bubba came walking around the corner and joined us.

"Ready to go Miss Sookie?" he asked with a smile and offered his arm. I hooked my arm through.

"Why, yes, Mr. Bubba, I am," I said teasingly, and we headed towards my car. "Night, Pam."

"Try not to get killed, telepath," she quipped. And then something hit me, and I spun Bubba and myself around.

"Pam, how did you end up sheriff? I mean, why did they let you, since Eric is your master?"

"Because I am the most well qualified on such short notice, and I am the most familiar and well respected with regard to the day-to-day operations of the area," she said with pride, stroking the lapel of her neatly pressed shirt.

"Huh," I said and began to turn back around.

"And I had sex with Sandy. And Felipe. At the same time." I swung back around with my jaw on the ground.

"As Dear Abby said: A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do," she said with a devilish grin.

A shiver ran up my spine at the thought, but I just nodded and headed to my car with Bubba in tow.

~*~

"You buckled up?" I asked Bubba as he fumbled with the seat belt.

"Yep," he said and turned to give me a bright smile.

I headed back onto the on-ramp when I heard the muffled sound of my phone ringing.

"Bubba, can you hand me the cell phone out of my purse? It's right there next to your foot on the floorboard." I was wondering who would be calling me at nearly two a.m.

"Here you go," he said, after a while of struggling for it. It had already stopped ringing.

"Huh," I said as I checked the missed call was from Tara. As a matter of fact, I had four missed calls from her. I hit the "dial" button to return her call.

"Hello?" I heard her familiar voice on the other end, but it seemed strained.

"Hey, Tara. It's Sookie," I said pleasantly.

"Sookie, I'm sorry, I've got some bad news," she said slowly in a thick voice.

"What's wrong Tara?" I asked urgently.

"JB called…Jason's house is on fire," she said sympathetically.

_Oh Hell_

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N:** A lot has happened in a relatively short period of time so I wanted to recap. I have to remind myself of the timeline constantly.

48 hours since Jason died.

24 hours since Eric was over.

The story takes place a few days after New Years so it has been less then 2 weeks since "Gift Wrap" (which is almost a prerequisite read for this plot) If you haven't read it and want me to spoil it for you, PM me and I shall spoil away.

With that aside, thanks again for reading! Your reviews are priceless. Truly.

Citizen

p.s. That Viking, huh? *_sigh_* Gotta love a bad boy with a non-beating heart of gold. :D


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